weekend pickthrough- flip turned upside down edition.

19 09 2011

yeah, i know it’s pretty sad that i couldn’t squeeze out another post last week. weekend pickthroughs back to back is pretty shameful. but this week, things in my life got a little shaken up (no, i’m not moving to bel air). some kind of awesome stuff happened  (for example, i’m gonna be motherfucking clara in this year’s burlesque nutcracker!). and some less awesome stuff happened (we’ll talk later). but mostly, my brain pretty much exploded and oozed out my ears. i spent most of the weekend in a benadryl coma trying to regain some semblance of equilibrium.

so far, slowly surfacing. but you know that thing about best laid plans or whatever. we’ll try again tomorrow. in the meantime, all you can eat link buffet below.

p.s. remember when will smith was awesome and hilarious? it pains me deeply that he seems to have morphed into a humorless oscar hungry scientologist. boo. Read the rest of this entry »





a day at the derby.

23 04 2011

so, you’re not riding the IKEAbus. maybe you don’t need furniture, or you don’t have $30, or you have a pathological fear of bus bathrooms… or maybe you’re not just into my shit. whatever the reason, you may have some real estate available on your schedule today.

let me make a suggestion…

in addition to being IKEAbus day, today is also derby day.

but not the kind of derby with the fussy hats and mint juleps, the kind of derby with hot pants and ass kicking. i’m talkin about MAINE ROLLER DERBY bitches!

in the last few years, the maine roller derby scene has caught ON FIRE! and with names like mae snap and fist city kitty, it’s easy to understand why (well, easy for me). basically, if you love sexy fast paced brutality on rollerskates (and who doesn’t?)…

so tomorrow when you’re not riding the IKEAabus, consider taking your sweet self and your spending dollar ($13 at the door) on over to the portland expo at 6 pm to check out the big battle for ultimate rollerderby victory between portland’s own port authority and the boston massacre. i can promise that you will be bowled over by the action and the athleticism, and the fact that not even one of them seems to care if their fingers get rolled over at top speed. the soundtrack to the bout will be provided by todd the rocket, and some half time booty shakin from my favorite peeps at vivid motion.

there’s even a free post-party at the empire dine & dance .

not every town is awesome enough to have rollerderby, but if we want it to stick around, we’ve got to get out there and show these ladies our best fist wavin’ trash talkin’ beer swillinn’ SUPPORT!

*full disclosure- i have no idea if there will be beer or not. cursory google searches told me NOTHING.





the chopping block.

19 11 2010

so after spending some time rolling around with tuesday’s therapy musings, i got to thinking about how i use shopping to ease my anxiety. any time i’m about to make a life change, or do something that is stressful to me, i make myself more comfortable by assuring that i am wearing an impeccable outfit. new job= new wardrobe every time, assuring that even if i do make more money at said job, i won’t actually ever get to see any of it.

as many of you know, i’m about to embark on yet another crazy performance opportunity in the form of the burlesque nutcracker.  generally, this would mean several hundred dollars in new lingerie and dancewear, but i’ve decided to try and fight the power. for the snowflake number, instead of getting this (which i really really want to the point where i’ve convinced myself that i NEED it), i will borrow something completely cute and serviceable from someone who was in the number last year. not mine, not perfect, but so far more painless than spending $68+ shipping on something that may or may not actually contain my boobs, and that i will likely never wear again.

well, as i’m thinking about the HUGE (and potentially) lingerie sacrifices that i’m about to make, it made me start thinking about what would happen if i lost my job or got sick and had to make some real sacrifices- what would  be the first to go?

1. as much as i hate to say it out loud, my $100 a month cell phone bill is LUDICROUS. goodbye iphone, hello virgin mobile pay as you go… could i get by with no phone at all?

2. goodybe dr. shrinkage. $300 a months for therapy is a lot. i find it hugely beneficial, but i could survive without it if it meant being able to make my mortgage payment.

3. my student loans are steadily shrinking, and i get to write off the interest every year on my taxes. but if i had to make some cuts, these guys speak the language of need based deferment, which is a blessing indeed.

4. those are the big ones (and we all know that i can’t stop paying my credit card bills- as much as i would like to), but then there’s all the little bits and pieces like neftlix ($17), my gym membership ($10), and non-specific spending money in general ($75). i don’t have cable, and i would have to be in pretty dire straits before i let anyone pry this internet connection out of my little clenched fists.

5. i can’t weed out things like medication, but i do think that if i was really proactive about it, i could axe my food budget down to $15 a week. although i might have to get over the ick factor of shopping at the save-a-lot or the dollar store. hey, at least i don’t eat meat.

still, as it turns out, i need at least $1,200 a month to get by. it’s a lot. it’s scary. it’s exactly why suze orman recommends 6 months worth of expenses in the bank for everyone.

is there anything you wouldn’t be willing to cut?





looking a little pastie.

13 10 2010

a couple of months ago, i took my top off in a bar full of strangers and lived to tell the tale. i promised to give you all the full rundown sometime in the indeterminate future… well, that future is now- and this piece is 2 STRUTs for the price of one (one as a STRUTter and one as a not so casual observer). it’s posted on over at the observer, but their direct link is a little screwy right now, so you can find the piece in its entirety below. and in case you’re local and didn’t get a chance to see/feel/taste/participate in the carnage that was my  STRUT performance, i’ll be shakin it one final time tomorrow (october 14th) at geno’s. come support/join/ogle me, or at least come point and laugh.

Confessions of a late night STRUTter- A lesson in bringing it.

As a woman on a firm trajectory toward her mid-thirties who packed on an extra 30 lbs. 2 years ago and is still using “I got divorced” as an excuse for her somewhat doughy physique, one might not guess that I’d be jumping at the chance to get mostly naked in a room full of strangers. Two months ago, I probably wouldn’t have guessed that either. But then, burlesque happened. Read the rest of this entry »





rollercoaster of love.

25 04 2010

i did something this weekend that terrified me. how i got involved is somewhat irrelevant, but the end result was me doing the hustle in the aisles at this weekend’s play that funky music PSO! concert. and in the lobby. and eventually leading the YMCA on stage with motor booty affair. no, i didn’t just lose my shit and start bustin moves everywhere… i was actually part of the show.

ever since i started working with vivid motion doing costumes, i have been feeling the performance itch a little (it just looks like so much g-d fun). problem being that i don’t actually know how to dance. well, every now and again (outside the bounds of the 3 yearly full-scale shows) they get a chance to throw together a quickie informal performance that they open up to whoever in the company wants to be involved. in comes the PSO saying “hey, it would be really great to have some dancers shaking their respective groove things in the aisles at our upcoming 70s tribute concert”, and an opportunity is born.

at first, i turned it down. not entirely interested in breaking the 4th wall and invading the space of quiet symphony concert goers. too scary. but somehow… a combination of some lovely and persistent friends and a nagging feeling that i need to make more of an effort to get over my myself, i wound up on the dancer list.  a mere 24 hours later, i was shakin my disco tits at the merrill auditorium in a halter dress (see inset photo).

i learned a lot of things this weekend. like that a big gold chain makes all the difference, or that there are very people who can resist the dance temptations of the village people.   but more importantly, that being scared of something is far worse than actually doing the thing that you’re scared of. yes, i felt a lot like vomiting or peeing my pants every time the opening strains of love rollercoaster started to fill the lobby (both in my worst case scenario nightmares), but once you show up in your your best 70s hotel lobby hooker outfit, there’s no turning back. and you know, it was ok. i flubbed the choreography a little in parts, and today i stumbled and fell off my platform shoes… but i put on my best disco smile and just kept going.

ok, so this doesn’t have anything to do with money or coupons or rite aid deals… but (at least right now), it feels like an important lesson. i’ve spent YEARS being afraid of making a scene or drawing unnecessary attention to myself. and today, i threw my glitter covered ass into the fray- and it was AWESOME. i wasted all that time being afraid of something that was actually really fun. fuck that shit. here’s my new two part plan:

1. tell fear to fuck off and give scary things a try.

2. even if you fall off your platform shoes just smile and keep going.

hustle that bitches.