since i’ve become an adult, i kind of hate xmas. i know that the holidays, whichever ones you choose to celebrate, are supposed to be about family, and tradition, and the spirit of giving… and all that shit that holiday specials teach us to expect (demand!). but between the divorced family, my jam packed schedule, and the specter of debt from xmas past still looming large, i tend to be kind of a bitch this time of year. which is ridiculous because the boyfriend has an unnatural enthusiasm for the holidays that fills me with deep deep dread.
anyway, i decided this year that i would do my best to embrace the season and try to muster up a few shreds of xmas spirit from my shriveled black heart. so far, not so great.
1. extended family declares “just kids” xmas. i have to buy 6 kid gifts for all my nieces… and i get JACK FUCKING SQUAT. i love my sisters, but their fertility is bankrupting me.
2. in an attempt to be festive, i purchased a large plastic light up santa clause, and my dog is fucking terrified of it.
3. i finally buckled to the boyfriend’s demands and went out in to the freezing fucking cold and mud to cut down an xmas tree. charming! judging by the rash i got when i was helping load it onto the car, and the itchy eyes i’ve been suffering since we got it home, i’m allergic.
cant’ you just smell the xmas cheer? let’s deflect from my grinch-pants with a little weekend pickthrough:
wow, what an asshole. weirdly i had an almost identical experience with a urologist once. EMOTIONALLY SCARRING!
dude, how did we ever let ecto-cooler go off the market!?
and while we’re feeling nostalgic for extinct snack foods, why not get a little misty over some 80s commercials?
merry xmas y’all! urban outfitters gives us another 25 song sampler- for free!
the perfect xmas gift! a photo of a chunk of ice, that MIGHT contain extra terrestrial life.
yep, this survey of most wanted gift cards reveals nothing that we didn’t already know about american tastes. (how quick we apparently are to forgive BP)
the intricacies the holiday tree pissing match.
the makeup project is slugging along, but i still need help! makeup bags & journals, come on down!!! (please) 3 days left to donate!
broke 207 