rite aid, this is screwed +UP.

10 06 2010

there have been a lot of changes happening at ye olde rite aid over the last few months. just when i was getting comfy with the intricacies of the single check rebate program *BAM* the rite aid wellness+ card shows up on the scene. i actually had some sort of weird proto version a long time ago, but it never actually did anything. at least this new version appears to have value in the form of product discounts not available to the plebeian public . but it’s all lies! in reality, they’ve taken the discounts that they used to give us freely (with love) and made them contingent upon us carrying around our little plastic card (so spiteful, and after all this time…). i think they’re feeling a little guilty about it though, because they’re throwing these new +UP rewards at us like a fistful of crumpled twenties at a spent hooker. but i’m a ho for coupons, so i figured…

but wait. i thought that they would work like extrabucks. dollar off coupons toward anything at rite aid except stamps, gift cards, cigarettes & booze- right?! um, no. or at least i don’t think so, but it’s unclear. very very unclear. picture it, yesterday afternoon… i go to rite aid to grab some discount tampax and see what this whole +UP business is all about. well, there was a bit of a fracas when some drunk dude when apeshit when they refused to sell him more booze without identification. so with all waving of arms and screaming of “douchebag!”, i didn’t actually end up looking at my receipt until i got home. what the fuck is this shit? $1 off a $10 seasonal purchase of $10 or more? so, in order to get my whopping $1 reward, i have to buy $10 worth of seasonal crap? and for that matter, what exactly constitutes seasonal? rubber swimmies?

the answer was equal parts cryptic and infuriating: “certain limitations apply, see store associate for details”. does that mean that i am now at the mercy of the sales associate to determine what constitutes seasonal? what if our definitions don’t agree? what if it escalates to shoving? what if i’m the next customer to get hauled into the parking lot screaming “douchebag!”?

all i’m saying is that this +UP situation is really putting a strain on our relationship, and you’ve done absolutely nothing to explain yourself. all this craziness, and NOT A SINGLE WORD ABOUT IT ON THE WEBSITE. who starts a program like this and doesn’t set up some basic parameters beforehand? it smacks of incompetence rite aid. incompetence!





flea market feature- montsweag adventure!

17 05 2010

as i mentioned yesterday (as i ever so classily begged for you to enter my contest), this weekend i took the first trip of the season to my favorite seasonal flea market in maine. i’ve been compiling and manicuring my list of best maine flea markets since last fall, but i thought it might be worthwhile to do a little profile of some of the superstars as i thrift my way through the summer months.

the montsweag flea market, located on a fairly low-key stretch of route one in woolwich (in between bath and wiscasset), opens on mother’s day weekend (weather permitting), and shuts back down “when the tourists stop coming”. it’s literally nothing more than a vacant lot filled with aging plywood tables and a few summer camp cabin-like shanties, but for some reason, this is where all the A+ people come to set up shop. no, it’s not all faberge eggs and first editions, it’s still a lot of crazy crap just like other flea markets… but it’s the BEST crazy crap in town. the judgment criteria:

1. new stuff is kept to a minimum. (i’m talking about you cascade) how horribly disappointing is it to go to what you think is a cool flea market, only to be assaulted by dollar store tchotchkes and ultra-trashy OOB-worthy t-shirts (ex: “if i wanted to hear what you had to say, i’d take my cock out of your mouth” heartwarming!). nobody wants this shit, sand it’s always uncomfortable to walk by your table, so please cut it out! (montsweag only had one table of this variety- dragon statuettes i think).

2. there’s lots of old stuff. even when it’s not worth anything, old stuff feels sexy, mysterious, exciting. from antique to retro, i wanna dive into boxes of musty old socially irrelevant books, try on enormous vintage cocktail rings, smell the mothballs of long forgotten fabric stashes, and fiddle with exotic examples of outmoded technology. going to the flea market should be like going on an archeological dig. i want to rifle through crumbling cardboard bins of relics feeling like every single thing is going to make me an ebay millionaire.

3. there’s lots of weird stuff. i want to see nightmare inducing creepy old toys, stacks of water damaged low-rent retro porn magazines, and at least a 10% saturation of stuff that elicits the comment “what the fuck is this?”. even if you come home with nothing, your day will never feel wasted if you spent the majority of your time pointing out the hilarity & terror to your fellow flea-marketers (also, this this a great place to work on your prop comedy).

4. prices are reasonable & they’re willing/ready to haggle. there’s a ton of antique stores and flea markets that easily meet the above criteria for awesome stuff, but cruelly price it just out of reach. what’s exciting about a box or a field full of incredible stuff that you want but can’t afford? why not just go browse the cartier? i bet they don’t have a port-a-potty (a minimal downside, but there isn’t a hook on the door and i was forced to wear my purse around my neck like a feedbag to avoid contamination).

if i was going to get in the habit of giving out stars, montsweag would easily gets a 4.5 out of 5. it meets all of the above critera with gusto, and save for the porta-john issues and the dragon statuettes, from vintage toys to scary dolls, they know what i like. plus, if you do so much as breathe near an item- someone will offer you a deal. bring cash (small bills), go early (the dealers get there at the crack of dawn), and prepare to be surprised (make sure you have room in your trunk). the boyfriend offered to buy 3 vintage cameras from a dealer for $15, and ended up with a rubbermaid tote full for $20. you can check out the rest of my montsweag exploration on flickr, or you can get your ass to wiscasset and have your own adventure. this weekend is supposed to be sunny and 70s, where do i go next?