that awkward moment…

10 01 2012

… when you realize that your ex husband is the most attractive prospect on an online dating site.

let’s just be clear here. i’m not ready to date.

it’s only been about a month now, and the ex and i are still sharing the same space (and to his credit, he is the most kind and agreeable person i have ever broken up with).  i need to focus my efforts on things like moving, working, breathing, and cuddling my dog. i need to not be an idiot and jump into anything before i’ve had a chance to regroup and recover- at least a little. you know, common sense… blah blah blah, good advice… yadda yadda yadda…

BUT.

the sensible path sorta sucks. it’s lonely. and painful. and sad. so you start to try to make the breakup, the newfound single status (set carefully to your facebook for all to casually notice), more appealing than it really is. you dream of the possibilities. you start to remember everyone you’ve ever had a crush on and stalk them to determine current availability (just in case) (for later): Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements




lactose intolerant.

15 03 2011

well, for a few days at least. those crazy cats over at bzzagent sent me free silk soymilk coupons under the condition that i give up milk for 10 days (like it’s some sort of challenge or something). not one to back away from a challenge (especially one that involves me getting free stuff), i decided that i’m not only giving up milk for 10 days, i’m giving  all dairy.

i have sort of a cheese and butter problem to start with, even though my personal ethics would really love for me to be a vegan. i thought this would be a good way for me to test the dairy free waters, without any major commitments or expectations. although i already spent over $100 on dairy free groceries that i am convinced will help me make it through the tough times that i assume to be ahead. what i’ve learned so far: Read the rest of this entry »





weekend pickthrough- full puppy takedown edition.

8 08 2010

everyone, meet kazuki. finally, i have a dog to call my own, and it’s totally awesome beyond my expectations (seriously, are you looking at this dog?). but, it’s also totally tiring beyond my expectations. as it turns out, puppies can not be left alone ever, because they will chew/eat/throw up everything you own. this means that i have to get up an hour earlier than usual, i’m responsible for 2+ poop walks per day (including one that eats my lunchbreak every work day), and that i can’t ever really pay full attention to anything… because i’ve got to have one eyeball on that little guy at all times. i’m pretty sure  this is why everyone who squealed in excitement about us getting a dog, punctuated that squeal with the phrase “puppies are a lot of work”. so yes, puppies are a lot of work, and i have absolutely no regrets, but if i owe you:

an email
a graphic design project
a guest post
a blog redesign
a coffee date
or anything else that i’ve probably already forgotten about…

it’s probably because i’m passed out in a pile of shredded newspaper, or out on the streets hunting for a chew toy that simulates the mouth feel of human flesh. perhaps i could make up for my negligence with some quality puppy time?

no seriously… i said my teeth are real diamonds (kanye & new yorker cartoons. two great things that taste great together).

i scored an 8 on this crazy color acuity test, and so far no one else has even come close. it’s your job to put my in my place.

typestaches!

nike does a little recycling. (it involves big asses and lively feminist debate, you’ll love it).

i’d never even heard of such a thing before, but card skimmers are scary and could be hiding anywhere.

food and fashion don’t come in a more adorable package, let’s hear it for my new favorite local blog… sweetersalt!

i hate that supporting my beloved marden’s these days feels like supporting this jackass.

i would also like to send out a big sloppy thank you to original portland, brews & books, and portland maine daily photo for mentioning my cheap eats article (all excellent blogs absolutely worth checking out). what’s also crazy, is that not a single person has mentioned the lack of meat!





nightmare on elm street. i mean route 17.

24 01 2010

so yesterday the bf and i decided to take a day trip to the augusta area to visit some of our favorite haunts, and maybe try a little something new. we hit lakeside antiques in winthrop  first, where i saw this awesome pair of ceramic bulls for $15. i so almost bought them, but what the fuck am i going to do with a pair of ceramic bulls? then we went to the video game exchange on water street- where the selection of vintage video games is excellent and the prices are very reasonable. too bad the bigoted juvenile  assholes who work there won’t shut up while you’re shopping. just saying gentleman, you might want to rethink at least a few of those “doin’ your mom” jokes. also, not everyone of middle eastern descent is a terrorist. thanks for that. you guys are great.

but although terrifying, that’s not the real horror show. our next stop was elmer’s barn. hanging out on route 17 in coopers mills, elmer’s barn is an infamous central maine fixture. a 3-story barn that is literally packed to the gills with moldering old crap from years past, it’s sort of an episode of the hoarders gone wrong- with pricetags!

the first floor is easily the scariest- piled to the ceiling with old tools and farm equipment, and other mostly rusty and/or dusty odds and ends. the (decidedly crotchety, but still somehow charming) proprietor is up on the 2nd floor, so you’re on your own down there in the zigzagging maze of endless piles. at one point, i wandered away from my companion- and when i yelled for him, he didn’t yell back. i can’t say that at that moment, my first thought wasn’t “they’ve got him, and now they’re coming for me!” while i edged toward a pile of rusty axes i could use in self defense.  it’s a horror movie on the first floor, plain and simple.

the second floor is distinctly less scary, and is more along the lines of any other poorly laid out ramshackle antique mall. there were a few nice things, but mostly i was unimpressed and felt like the prices were a little high. this batman mug was amazing, but was it $14 amazing? i decided no.

the third floor was an interesting hybrid of the two. decidedly more piled and dusty than the 2nd floor, but not quite as dank and emotionally upsetting as the first floor. there were a lot of old chairs, and a weird over abundance of blue glazed porcelain cats. again, nothing.

the boyfriend eventually came upon two old newspaper advertising plates from the 50s (for tires) that he purchased for $2, but it was more about the beautiful horror of the experience than actually wanting or needing to buy anything. even though it was so scary and weird, i would definitely recommend this as a stop on any central maine adventure. take beautiful pictures, have a little chat with elmer, and hunt down a little piece of something from this terrifying and mystical place to bring home.