get dressed.

12 01 2010

damn. so i had this business meeting today with a web developer who is at least 5 years younger than me- which isn’t really the problem, except that she looked AMAZING. she wasn’t wearing a suit, and she wasn’t perfectly coiffed, and she certainly wasn’t sporting crunk-ass dragon lady acrylic nails… but she had a good haircut, fabulous shoes- and looked interesting, and pretty, and creative- all while still being entirely appropriate and business-like (she also had the world’s most perfect short manicure). and i just wanted to crawl under the table and die. my hair is a mess, i’m wearing my fat pants (coincidentally the only pants i fit into right now), and a wrinkly sweater vest that makes me look like an extra from newsies. FUCK!!

clinton & stacy always say that you should dress for the career that you want, not necessarily the job that you have (i manage a small commercial real estate office). just because my officemates don’t mind if i look like a scrub- doesn’t mean that it’s ok for me to strut around the file room in  wrinkly sweaters and jeans. i’m 32 years old. maybe it’s time for me to start dressing like the person i want to be when i grow up.

i’m not talking rayon suits and pantyhose here (nobody needs that- NOBODY), but adding a light veneer of sophistication to my look is definitely along overdue. the punchline here is that i love fashion, i’m literally just too lazy to deal with the maintenance (dry cleaning- aaaaaaaah!). i’m also 30 lbs. heavier than i ever have been (thanks divorce!), and need to get myself out of the “no new clothes until you’re skinny” loop. dude, i might never be skinny again.

anyway, here is my 5-point plan to start to peel away the elastic waisted layers of my current self, and find the polished and professional adult underneath that i know (well, i hope) is in there:

1. get a decent haircut. what i have right now is more the absence of a haircut. mostly, it’s an ever present slightly messy ponytail. not good. i need something that doesn’t require a blowdryer (hate ’em), or any sort of product (no thank you). something simple that looks good out of the shower, or not out of the shower (i don’t like to get wet).  really, anything remotely resembling an intentional hairstyle would be a start.

2. get used to swapping shoes at the office. it’s winter in maine, and i walk everywhere. generally, this means i’m sneaker-clad or wearing my snow boots to work, and then wearing them all day… also not good. while i’m at it, i should probably buy some slightly more sophisticated shoes (the neon green chucks aren’t really cutting it).

3. learn how to give myself a manicure. a real manicure is like $35 bucks, but my jaggy gnarled little claws need to go! clean, short, and modern is the plan. but i’d be happy if people just stopped averting their eyes in torn cuticle terror.

4. buy infallible classic basics. a pair of well fitted denim trousers and the perfect white blouse might be a good place to start. i feel like i’m craving more navy in my wardrobe anyway. as much as it pains me to say it- i may need to shell out for this. fit is expensive– and fit is the absolute most important thing that makes you look put together.

5. buy beautiful bold accessories. i actually have a silk scarf with chainsaws all over it that i’ve never worn. why the hell not? the thing that makes those basics less… um… basic is dressing them up with pops of color and crazy vintage finds. since i will have spent all my money on that perfect white blouse, i should probably hit the goodwill on the hunt for bold jewelry, vintage cardigans, and silk scarves.

yeah, i know i’m hopeless… what else can i do?