back to school.

29 08 2011

well, i’ve been a lazy sack this summer, and it was AWESOME. i actually read some trashy books, went to the beach, ate ice cream cones, got a terrible sunburn, did some flea marketing… all the best summer cliches, TO THE MAX.

although now that things are cooling down, i’m digging out my sweaters, dreaming of the pumpkin harvest and watching all the kiddos are getting shoveled back into their classrooms (as if that affects me in any way other than the bountiful reaping of cheap composition notebooks). and, i’m feeling ready to get back down to business.

so as of this morning, summer hours are officially closed.

what does this mean for you?

well, it means:

1. more posting! ok, not like that time that i lied to you and told you that i was going to post every day (i’m such a scumbag!)… but definitely more than once a week.

2. new features! i had a brilliant idea for a a new fashion feature, along with some recipes and some other awesome shit. possibly. possibly some other awesome shit.

3. old feautres! hey, whatever happened to the weekend pickthrough? or what about that time i tried to start a “store spotlight” section? and although increasingly this blog has moved away from the coupon factor (best left to maine’s own extreme couponer, i love to gossip), i would like to bring it back some deal hunting in smaller more subtle ways.

4. special events! one of my favorite things about the past year was my chance to be involved in some crazy projects. well, i’m definitely planning on keeping that shit rolling now that i’m done being lazy. there’s another SWAPmaine scheduled for october (we’re still working on the dates & location, but picture BIGGER & BETTER!), another IKEAbus planned for the spring, as well as the revival of the makeup project, and possibly a mystery event/appearance or two.  would anyone be into a cheap beer pub crawl/meetup (perhaps a joint venture with deal me in portland)?

anyway, thank you for weathering the low keyness that was my summer posting schedule. it was much needed, but i’m ready to reanimate. let me know if there’s anything new you’d like to see/old you’d like to see revived/thing you’d love to see more of/thing you never want to see again. or, you can just tell me what you did with your summer vacation.

i should go, because i’m going to be late for work. BUT, i’ll be back tomorrow with a small announcement about a “celebrity” appearance i’ll be making in september.





ALL SYSTEMS GO!

8 04 2011

on monday when i only had 13 tickets sold and no sign of picking up… i was ready to quit this bitch. i really didn’t think it was gonna happen. i even started making other plans for the 23rd.

i don’t know if it was my general sad sackness working the guilt angle, or just that people woke up and realized that they really did need to buy 25 billy book cases in order for their lives to feel complete… but i hit my half way goal and then a little bit more  yesterday.

as of this morning, i’m at 27 seats sold, and i’m sending the bus company my money- eek!  what i’m trying to say is that the IKEA bus is ON. ON. ON.

there are still 23 tickets left that i’m gonna be trying really hard to sell (anybody got any catchy poster ideas?), but the die is cast. i’m going through with it no matter what. i am also taking recommendations for what should go in my local food snack packs.

finally, i want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who talked about, facebook liked, and tweeted up this event. many of you couldn’t afford it or had other plans, but you still cheered me on. gennyfer shook down the moms over at raising maine! cindy and matt guilt tripped their coworkers! the entirety of the forge brandsstaff decided to drink the ikea bus kool aid!

anyway, thank you. i am overwhelmed! i make you my solemn promise that the ikea bus will be as awesome as i can possibly make it. and for those of you who can’t join us, i promise frequent twitter updates and lots of goofy pictures of people pretending to poop in the fake ikea display bathrooms.





the edge of extinction.

3 04 2011

ok folks, it’s time for us to have a serious sit down discussion about the ikea bus.

the first week of ticket sales was exciting. after the first few days, i had 13 people already and it seemed like things were all systems go.

and then, they stopped going.

i  was stuck at 13 tickets for almost an entire week. and the worst part was that people kept asking me how it was going…

i’m a firm believer that it’s never good for business to tell people that things aren’t going well. so i would say things like “it’s going, but i wanna sell that shit out!” or “it’s coming along, but there’s still room!”. it’s a little awkward. and i’ve been feeling a lot of shame about the fact that it’s not going better. both because i don’t like failing at things, and because i really really do want it to happen.

i sold a few more tickets last week, but just a few. and sadly, my attempts at getting some press coverage turned out to be completely balls. so here i am, stalled out at at 16 tickets (i made the boyfriend promise to buy one, so i could say  17 and not totally be lying).

i’m not sure what happened. 58 people liked my press release on facebook. the eventbrite page has almost 600 page views! and everyone and their grandma keeps telling me what an awesome idea it is. so what gives?

bad timing? no money? not the right time to buy a couch after all? i have no idea.

the truth is that i’m scared. if i can’t get up to at least 25 (preferably 30) by the 7th (that’s THIS THURSDAY), i’m gonna have to cancel. the problem is that the money is mine, and if i don’t get the bus filled , that money still disappears. and i have student loans and a mortgage that can’t let that happen.

i don’t want to beg you. begging isn’t classy. more than anything, i’d like to gently remind you to buy your ticket now if you’re planning on going- or at least send me an email telling me that you’re definitely coming. and i’d also like to warn all the fabulous folks that did buy tickets, that there is currently a high likelihood that the trip will be canceled. so, spread the world to your friends and neighbors if you want it to be on. and if anyone knows a media outlet that might give the ikea bus a little lovin… now is the time to call in some favors!





pulling out of the station.

17 03 2011

well, the couch shoppers have it! after analyzing the poll, i decided to go  with the $30 tickets ($32.46 after surcharges- sorry!) that include a 17′ U-haul truck to drag back all your giant shit. i’m also working on scoring some snacks and other good stuff. but while i’m working out the details…

GO BUY A TICKET RIGHT NOW!

The most important thing to remember here is that if i can’t sell at least half of the bus by april 8th, i will have to cancel the whole trip. please don’t make me have to do the dance of shame! seriously, your mom loves particle board furniture, and this bus looks way comfy.  we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll morph into bona fide ikea hackers when we get home. it’s gonna be AMAZING.





its here…

15 03 2011

yesterday, i chartered a bus. i promised that i would attempt to bring the ikea bus to portland, and i’m doing it (APRIL 23rd! MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!). however, i have a few details i need to iron out before  i can officially put tickets on sale later this week. for example, how much will tickets cost?  well, there are two possibilities:

1. $22 ticket where people are allowed to bring home only as much as will fit in the 7′ X 8′ under-bus compartments.

2. $30 ticket where i rent a supplemental U-haul box truck so that people can get couches and mattresses and shit.

i’m inclined to go smaller scale for the maiden voyage, but i also am scared that if people can’t bring back whatever they want, nobody will come! ok, i am scared in general that nobody will come, but i can cancel and get my deposit back 15 days before the event… so the risk isn’t too high. still scary though.

anyway, i’m trying to gauge what ikea bus riders might prefer- lower prices or greater capacity, so i rigged up this little poll to help sort it all out: Read the rest of this entry »





the gears are turning

30 12 2010

still recovering from the very nutcracker into xmas shitstorm, but yesterday’s snowstorm provided something of a rest and regroup. well, except for the part where i had to take my dog out to pee in the insanity. as it turns out, kazuki LOVES the snow. me, not so much. but anyway, before i go ahead and do another full on rant about bad gift giving (obviously a serious pet peeve of mine) and broken polar bears… here are a few interesting bits and pieces that have floated to the surface in the last week or two:

i’ve done a lot of crazy shit this year. thus, i thought it would befit 2011 if i kicked it off with something equally nuts. on february 12th, i’ll be hurling my pale and fragile body into the icy waters of casco bay for charity. if you wanna help me out, this polar bear will give you the details (it’s a PDF, but i promise it’s safe to download!).

i went straight from the makeup project directly into nutcracker madness, and i don’t know if anyone noticed the wrap up that i did on the update page. the short version is that it was very well received. with lots of help, i managed to throw it together in less than a month (which was all kinds of incredible), but i’d love to get started RIGHT NOW for next year. nothing organized yet, just planting the seeds. so if you have an opportunity to score free makeup or other teen-friends stuff this year in your coupon travels… you know what to do.

i know, 2 donation requests in one post is kind of hardcore… but don’t say i never gave you anything:

the ikea bus is fueling up! i talked about it many moons ago, but the wheels are finally turning (pun intended). the portland daily sun even wrote an article about it (no turning back now!) come april (tentatively the 23rd), there will be approximately 50 spots on the bus (which i am assured will have the capacity for an in-flight movie). i was hoping to keep it under $25 a person round trip- but it looks like if we up it to $28-$30, we can also rent a uhaul so that people can buy big ass furniture (mattresses! couches!) and not worry. and considering that a round trip to boston on greyhound is like $40… and ours will come with snacks and even possibly in-town furniture delivery…  i still think it’s a pretty good deal. i have started an email list, so either go to the ikea bus page, or send me an email and i will add you. no commitment, just updates on progress, prices, and dates.

finally, i’m working on a super secret project with some local fashion bloggers that i think you’re all really going to like. obviously, it’s super secret, so i don’t have a lot of information to give… but hopefully soon i’ll be able to explode the details all over your face. i promise, you’re gonna love it.





weekend pickthrough- secret hot pockets edition.

15 08 2010

i just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and encouragement  (as well as general hoots and “take it all offs”) regarding my big burlesque debut on thursday. the cliff’s notes update is that no, i didn’t win. but, i did rock my piece as hard as i could, and there were no broken legs or embarrassing urinary mishaps. you will however have to wait at least another day or two until my full write up is finished for the maine observer (assuming i write something that they actually want to publish). however, in my travels, i did come across an extremely interesting bit of noteworthy information. it all went down like this:

FRIEND: (re: me needing a post titty-shakin snack) man, geno’s should serve food.

ALLIE: um, why would you want to eat there? it’s a dive bar that used to be a porno theater? (*for those of you who weren’t around portland 15 years ago, it used to be the “fine art cinema”- classy!).

of course i thought it was hilarious, and immediately posted it to twitter. along with a lot of discussions about other places in portland too dirty for food consumption, this little tidbit popped up:

from @sukisusan: Rumor is that by law they must serve food. So they have a freezer full of Hot Pockets.

i brushed it off a brilliant joke, and then the next morning, this comment surfaced:

from @seanwilk: they have Hot Pockets. #true

could it be? on my lunch break friday, i decided to call geno’s and get the lowdown. in the most awkward phone conversation that i’ve probably ever had in my life- IT WAS CONFIRMED. some sort of weird licensing regulation requires them to be able to serve hot food. the answer- A FREEZER FULL OF HOT POCKETS. and they’re not just for show, you can order and consume those bitches (although i did forget to ask how much the cost- damn!). get to it!

i’m proud of my state for a lot of reasons, but this isn’t one of them.

two events worth putting on your calendar RIGHT NOW: WMPG electronica booze cruise, and goodwill of northern new england halloween ball bitches!

all my sexiest cheese fantasies are finally coming true (and for only $4).

once i get the ikea bus going, this is my next portland improvement venture.

so i entered this writing contest… could somebody else please enter so that mine isn’t the only crazy silly one. for some reason, people seem to think that good writing has to be SAD writing. i don’t get it…

there’s nothing you can say that will ever make me think that ebooks are better than paper books.  NEVER!

thanks to a tip from the amazing tina at scrawled in a corner, i now know that there are FULL EPISODES OF DARIA on mtv.com. solid.

just what i always suspected, iphone users are kind of sluts.

first lebron, and now grimace? this free agency thing is getting out of hand.

why can’t i own a canadian?! (via younger cougar)