weekend pickthrough- bottom of the sea edition.

17 10 2011

changing jobs is hard. somehow, i forgot about that part. i spent the majority of last week either lapsing into couch comas or trying to keep myself from bursting into hysterical tears at inopportune moments (with mixed results).

and then there was the part where i didn’t have time for the internet. which is weird, because i pretty much live on the internet full time. it’s my natural habitat (well, the internet and target).

basically, i was either trying to get my bearings at my new job (situation improving, if slowly), alseep, or sobbing hysterically in an unfortunate place. no twitter, no facebook, no gchat…  i feel like i was incarcerated, or in a coma, or at the bottom of the sea for the last 7 days, and i’m just finally resurfacing. i’m disoriented, and a little cranky. but i’m back, and as always, sorry for dropping off the planet for a bit.

i have a full lineup of posting schedule for this week (including my annual bad halloween costume roundup), but for the transition back into normalcy, let’s just start with a few easy links: Read the rest of this entry »





behold the spirits of douche-o-ween!

21 10 2010

it’s a tragic but unavoidable fact that women all over the country think that turning themselves into the whore version of anything is the best course of action for halloween costumes. i actually took a little poll yesterday on twitter to find out what obscenely stupid things people have seen tarted up for this upcoming holiday season. the results will not surprise you AT ALL.

slutty gumby
slutty big bird ( i expected more from you target!)
slutty spongebob (i mean sponge BABE)
“just out of the shower” towel & flip flops (slutty AND lazy)
slutty ninja turtle
slutty smurf
slutty nun
and of course the big winner of the slutoween ludicrous costume contest- for it’s high levels of both whoreishness AND general offensiveness… SLUTTY ANOREXIC!

yeah, slutoween is tapped out. even babies have slutoween costumes now. hell, there’s even a flickr group…  basically, i’m tired of making fun of skanks (i can’t believe i just uttered those words). this year, i’m going after the gentlemen. sure, they have every right to make fun of the women’s parade of obviousness and low self esteem… and we have every right to make fun of the fact that an equivalent majority of men use halloween as an excuse to expose their inner jackass (among other things that they shouldn’t be exposing).  this costume-round up over at woot pretty much says it all and then some… but seriously everybody- are we really that pathetic as a species that we need to lower ourselves so far down, even one day a year? why can’t halloween be an excuse to be clever and hilarious instead?

so here is my challenge to you american public:

it doesn’t have to be brilliant, expensive (there’s even a hot hot $5/$25 coupon for goodwill of northern new england to ease your costume purchasing financial burden- thanks for the tip coupon goddess!) , or labor intensive… just be something smarter than the lowest common denominator. leave your push up bra and you dick jokes at home on halloween for a change, and find yourself a costume that has some dignity.  i promise that there are virtually thousands of ideas out there that do not involve you looking like a hooker or a sex offender. in fact, here are some of my favorite full genital coverage costume ideas for this season:

1. those awesome dudes from katamari.

2. can you say HUMAN SIZE LEGO GUYS?

3. screw you cardboard box robot, i’m gonna  be boxed wine this year!

4. yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip uh huh.

5. i don’t normally dig the military thing, but this is a soldier costume that i can whole heartedly support. (just don’t sit on my furniture while you’re wearing it).

me and two of my best lady friends are going as the murderous vixens from clue. i’m mrs. peacock (watch out for the wrath of my lead pipe!). what are you gonna be for halloween this year?

*UPDATE*

looks like someone else has already challenged the ladies of america to cover the hell up. take back halloween is an awesome costume guide for the uninspired woman seeking full nipple coverage. also, i’d really like to see some costume pictures of y’all getting your trick or treat on.





weekend pickthrough- getting around edition.

18 07 2010

this has been kind of a crazy week for me. along with eating a TON of candy bars (which is weird, because i’m not really a chocolate person), i had my first official post drop on part time vagabond, and as of friday afternoon,  i’m shakin it over at flyte new media (my first social media article ever!). i’m such a blog slut!

but seriously, i started this blog last year, because i wanted a reason to write every day. my life to date has been clogged with awful poetry, half finished novels, and otherwise general aimlessness. even if i’m not writing about anything important, this blog has given me focus. I joke about being a blog slut, but at the risk of getting all squishy and sentimental, this is a really exciting time for me. pre-broke207, i was just stumbling out of my twenties right into another decade of hapless wandering and bad decisions. ok, i still make a lot of bad decisions (candy bars!), but i find that i’m stumbling a lot less. so to make up for the very poor quality weekend pickthrough below (i was busy!), i would like to take a second to say thank you. thank you for reading, and commenting, and being generally awesome. and thank you also to flyte and part time vagabond, for trusting that i have something worthwhile to say in their space. oh, and thanks in advance for not hating too hard on the lame pickthough.

slap a couple of these babies on your pop tarts and you never have to feel eco-guilty again.

many thanks to the infamous qbert for pointing me toward a website dedicated to my present favorite fashion icon (what can i say, i’m a sucker for sweater sets).

worst gift suggestion EVER.

hey guess what, GETTING A MAMMOGRAM DOES NOT HURT (so get goin)!

a miracle of modern architecture. plus, it’s shaped like a turkey.

who knew that a field guide could be so hilarious.

with everyone competing to make the most ludicrously unhealthy sandwich, when is someone just gonna throw down and slap some lard between two buns (or maybe two grilled cheese sandwiches) and call it the winner?





weekend picktrhough- hotel bar boozin edition.

12 06 2010

i should really make an effort to round up the weekend pickthrough a little earlier in the day. namely, before i’ve had half a pizza (an incredible specimen in mushroom & cauliflower from otto on congress street), three bowls of party mix, and a couple of very stiff cocktails at the top of the east (apparently the go-to bar in portland if you think you’re on the jersey shore). basically, if this weekend pickthrough feels like it’s half in the bag, it’s because it is.

a traveling toy store of amazing artness. here, in portland. right now.

screw disney! all the cool kids are spending their summer vacations haunting abandoned theme parks.

it’s not an unbelievable discount if it comes with a side of bedbugs. BEWARE the budget hotel of horrors.

just when you thought that food couldn’t get any more hilarious/disgusting… in strolls the mcgangbang.

the onion’s most hilarious joke ever.

unlike the pogs of my youth, at least sillybandz will still have a function once the insane trend wave finally crashes on the beach.

the most beautiful dry erase animation ever about what motivates us. (very surprising)

dear grandma, stockpiling would make more sense if you were feeding more than just you and grandpa. plus, this expired salad dressing is gross.

if you don’t want me to make fun of you, you might want to stop leaving me these passive aggressive notes.

apparently my friends sam & BJ aren’t looking out for me as much as i thought. (i thought we were friends!)

just to open a little friendly discussion… is it just me, or does grimace look like a giant scrotum?





sexy times.

4 04 2010

a little over a week ago, fabulous reader winnie sent me a sexy little letter she had written to stop & shop. hilarious. erotic! i think she’s invented a new genre: COUPON PORN. i had meant to include it in this week’s weekend pickthrough, but in my 2 am delirium, i completely dropped the ball. no bother. it more than deserves its own post anyway. thank you winnie!