little emergencies.

9 06 2012

i know i promised that i was done talking about gross medical stuff for a while, but what i really meant is that i was done talking about gross fibroid related medical stuff for a while. and i totally am. actually, things in that area appear to be going pretty well.

but as appears to be the law when it comes to my health, it’s time for something else to go wrong. nothing big, just a really amazing UTI. but enough to send me to the emergency again. i really need to get a big jar to save all of my hospital bracelets in. i’m getting quite the impressive collection.

but, i wouldn’t be bothering ¬†you with the exciting details off my busted urinary tract if i hadn’t learned a valuable lesson or two in the process of peeing in that cup (pictured at left). Read the rest of this entry »





delirious.

5 08 2010

it’s hot out. 100% humidity hot. like getting angrily smothered with a hot airline towel by someone with a fever who hates you a lot hot. now, i live in maine and i always have. thus, i am not biologically programmed to be able to deal with such conditions. point being, tonight i was supposed to write a companion article about cheap booze to the food post i did last week. instead, i lapsed temporarily into a humidity induced coma (sort of a sloppily splayed out half conscious fever state where my only awareness was how uncomfortable i was, and how my uncurtained windows were giving my neighbors a pretty excellent beaver shot) on my couch for about 2 hours completely unable to move. miraculously, i was finally able to pry myself from the semi-catatonia into a more mobile delirium that allowed my sweaty ass to be propelled into a cold shower (too smacked out to notice that there were no towels- only wash cloths in the bathroom- again, sorry neighbors), but i’m still not right. barely able to smash my hands against the keyboard, it has taken me roughly two hours to tap out this marginally coherent message in between nodding off and getting distracted trying to find a picture to go with this post. by the way, typing the word HOT into google images with the safesearch turned off will get you nowhere. the word FEVER on the other hand, will take you directly to ted nugent. anyway, you’re not getting a post about anything worthwhile. instead, i will fill the space where the real post should go with my insane scratchings and ted nugent jokes. that’s all you get. it’s hot, i’m crazy, and you’ll survive.