my lovely lady lumps: adventures in uterine fibroids.

12 03 2012

i am not an animal!

have you ever seen one of those “i didn’t know i was pregnant” tv shows where the lady doesn’t know she’s pregnant until she’s in the delivery room with what she thinks is appendicitis? well, i have. so imagine that you’re me. imagine that you’ve seen A LOT of those types of programs, and that you’re also kind of a hypochondriac. you’ve sworn off web md entirely because maybe it gives you panic attacks sometimes.

now, imagine that you’ve noticed that your abdomen (despite some recent weight loss) has become quite bloated. and when you press on it, you feel something hard and round. imagine that when you lay on your back and look at your stomach, it is notably distended to one side. you might ask a friend or two to palpate your uterus area. you might start palpating your own uterus area obsessively, and work yourself into an anxious frenzy imagining that there is a baby or a tumor or a dinosaur egg in there.

but that’s crazy, right?

i had my yearly physical coming in two weeks, and i spent the entire time bouncing back and forth between utter panic, and feeling like a idiot for thinking that anything at all was wrong (with panic winning out in the final few days). i almost went to the emergency room on at least 3 occasions.

but it’s probably nothing. Read the rest of this entry »

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weekend pickthrough- swapping your face off edition.

23 05 2011

so saturday was finally the big SWAPmaine clothing swap showdown, and it was all kinds of rad. by 10 am, there were over 50 people lined up outside (shockingly, everyone was polite, and not a single fist or elbow was thrown).  that said, it was a mad crush to get to the good stuff, and our perfectly manicured piles were heavily intermingled by 10:15, as clothes were heaved in all directions.

everyone seemed happy and left with bulging sacks (yeah, i just said BULGING SACKS) and the smug smiles of people getting something for nothing, and yet somehow magically benefiting charity at the same time.

by 4 pm, i could barely stand. actually, by 4 pm i was sitting in a big box of sweaters yelling “MY FEET ARE BIG”!

i could barely get home.

i made a rash decision to get burger king for dinner (their veggie whopper is the bees fucking knees).

but  regardless of my physical pain and exhaustion (swapping is a SPORT people), i still couldn’t shake the glow of all the amazing stuff that i had scored at the swap… and how glorious my transitional spring/summer wardrobe is going to be as a result.

i hope to do a full-on fashion show post at some point in the near future (probably for the swapmaine blog), but here’s a little taste of the kind of awesome shit that was available for those who chose to swap: Read the rest of this entry »