Even though my energy for coupon clipping and deal hoarding has long waned, some residual benefits of my past obsession are that I still occasionally get surprise sample packages in the mail from various companies that I don’t remember signing up with. Recently, I received a little satin zipper bag filled with products from the Tampax “Radiant” Collection under just such circumstances. Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: blood, crotch, drunk, fresh scent, glitter, insulting, lol, macaroni necklaces, menstruation, niagara falls, period, product testing, prom corsage, purple, racecar, radiant, review, ridiculous, shimmer, synthetic fragrance, tampax, uterus, utility, vagina
Categories : product reviews
DISCLAIMER: i’ve been writing this post since september, and actually changed the date to october when it took me a month to get it even half done. now it’s almost february. the cliff’s notes version here is that i’m sad. i’ve been sad for a while. i’m feeling a lot better, but things are still sometimes confusing and hard, and i haven’t been writing because i couldn’t. i know that’s not funny, or snarky, or even interesting, but it’s the story of why this post took me almost 6 months to write.
october was a pretty shitty month. i would venture to say (save for that year when i got divorced), that this october was probably the shittiest month i’ve had for a long time. and while no one big thing went awry causing the downward spiral (time to break out the NIN), it was more of a 10 car pile up of tiny awful little things combining into a juggernaut of unstoppable sadness, and self doubt, and too many days spent curled up in my bed with my dog playing internet scrabble and praying for sleep.
i am not prone to depression, not even a little. usually, i’m a joke cracking, bright side finding, pollyanna-grade fucking optimist. i don’t get sad, ever really. so on the very rare occasion that everything decides to crumble into dust for a minute, sad is this foreign intruder who busts in, makes himself comfortable in my bed, demands snacks, and refuses to go home. i’m paralyzed. i’m useless. so, sad and i curl up in bed together, call my mom, and try to wait it out. Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: butthole, close up, cool ranch doritos, depressed, depression, gonewild, internet is forever, internet scrabble, naked pictures, nerds, online, panacea, r/, reddit, sad, sadness, self esteem, shoe shopping, spread eagle, subreddit, sucktober
Categories : all the single ladies
yeah, i’m horribly delinquent. it’s been a rough couple of months for me on a number of fronts, but even as i slowly pull out of my tailspin of procedural cop drama and cookies in bed, i’m still having a hard time getting my shit together to write again. although, i can promise a lengthy exploration about why i decided that putting naked pictures of myself on the internet is probably not the best way to make myself feel better (don’t worry mom, i didn’t do it). however, in my long absence, i have gravely neglected to talk about a project that i was working on, and i’m sincerely hoping that it’s not too late to grab your attention and your time for a minute.
this holiday season, the ladies of swapmaine decided to see what would happen if we got ALL FANCY for the holidays. so, instead of having our standard “all you can grab” style swap of big bins and big digging, we’re throwing an intimate little cocktail party swap where everyone brings just a few of their very best things, drinks some bubbly, nibbles some snacks, and goes home with 5 immaculately perfect items. it’s kinda gonna be an amazing. here’s why: Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: brown paper tickets, champagne, clothing swap, flea-for-all, fundraiser, internet, naked pictures, pinkies out, procedural cop drama, small boobs, snacks, sparkles, swap soiree, swapmaine, tickets, vintage jewelry
Categories : events
remember that time when i told you about how lousy i am at transitions? well, behold! what you are looking at here in this picture is 9 pairs of shoes. 9 pairs of brand new shoes bought over the course of the last 24 hours. 5 were purchased online because they’re my favorite shoe ever, and they were on sale for $22 each at 6pm. 1 was purchased for the upcoming burlesque nutcracker (i might also need to purchase a related naughty santa costume). 1 was a practical office shoe choice. and, 2 were just sky high wedges that will look very pretty collecting dust in my closet but i felt very very compelled to buy- so i did.
9 pairs of shoes, all but 3 of which i don’t actually “need” (and we’re defining “need” here as “would be nice to have but definitely don’t actually need”). 9 pairs of shoes, all of which were purchased because the tectonic plates of my life are shifting yet again, and sparkly new feet somehow seem like the most productive way to deal with that discomfort.
it isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: 6pm, bouncy castle, breakup, coping mechanisms, crack, date, DSW, glitter, hooker heels, life changes, naughty santa, need, nutcracker burlesque, poor decision making, porn theatre sex, public shaming, shoes, transitions, want, willpower
Categories : clipworthy
i had such high hopes for this week. i was going to eat cleanly, do laundry, go jogging EVERY DAY… this week was the week that would make up for the other 51 weeks that i spend mired in guilt not doing any of the things on my “to do” list. this week was going to CHANGE EVERYTHING.
it started well.
i jogged, i cooked, i paid overdue medical bills. i wrote every day. i ate so many vegetables! Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: amazon.com, bed, broken plans, brute force, chicken pot pie, cravings, crumbs, diet, ebay, funny cat pictures, glitter hooker shoes, healthy, laundry, lazy, lazy sack, letting myself down, margarine, napping, organization, perfection, pinterest, productive, swatch watch, vegan, weight loss, wile e. coyote, willpower, yoga arms
Categories : nothin in particular