First world lady problems

27 01 2013

tamponAt the risk of getting all Jerry Seinfeld and being all “what’s the deal with that,” I’d like to open a friendly discussion about current state of feminine hygiene products in the year 2013.

Even though my energy for coupon clipping and deal hoarding has long waned, some residual benefits of my past obsession are that I still occasionally get surprise sample packages in the mail from various companies that I don’t remember signing up with. Recently, I received a little satin zipper bag filled with products from the Tampax “Radiant” Collection under just such circumstances. Read the rest of this entry »





walking out: why “step up 4” was a way better movie than “the dark knight rises”.

21 08 2012

until last week, i’ve only ever walked out of one movie- meet the parents.

picture it, it was the year 2000, and my boyfriend at the time (who also happens to also be my boyfriend at the present) had seen it with friends, and assured me that it was hilarious. i do think it’s notable to mention here how weird it is that the company that you’re with has so much sway in how much you enjoy a movie. but yeah, i don’t think i have to explain why i walked out of that one (robert de niro- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?).

but then last week, i went to see the dark knight rises at the nickelodeon (again, with that boyfriend who possibly has a chronic case of the bad movie karmas).

with an 87% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes, and having enjoyed the first two movies very much, i was poised and open for peak enjoyment. i really really wanted to like it. i wanted it to be amazing. i wanted it to be the booming crescendo in a symphony that was the (so far pretty good) dark knight trilogy. but right from the outset, i just couldn’t get on board. also, i accidentally spilled most of my smuggled in wheat thins on the floor during the opening credits.

let me make you a nice tidy bulleted list of where things went wrong for me: p.s…. SPOILER ALERT. Read the rest of this entry »





bring on the hooker shoes: a product review.

2 10 2011

so one of the various perks (or is it a curse) of being a blogger, is that sometimes i get asked to review things.  companies send me free shit in exchange for a review, and sometimes i actually even write one. like today!

usually, i product test things that are either edible (debatable in some cases), or that i can easily smear on my face/body during my morning routine. so when i got these dr. scholls for her high heel inserts (from my current favorite blog-swag provider, bzzagent), i wasn’t quite sure what to do.  i actually own a lot of high heels, so that wasn’t the problem. but tragically, i just don’t have many opportunities to actually wear them.  on account of the whole not driving thing, i tend to be perpetually in flats- except for the odd “special occasion” (which are pretty rare in my universe).

anyway, i was supposed to test these puppies out, but no high-heel bearing days presented themselves (stacey london would be so ashamed). so i did what any dedicated product tester would do- i decided to do my laundry in a pair of four inch hot pink patent peep toes that i hadn’t worn since my ill fated wedding back in 2007.  that’s right, i tottered around my bedroom & basement in hot pink heels and my laundry day sweatpants for 3 hours (i did allow short safety breaks when carrying large quantities of laundry down flights of stairs. like hell i’m gonna break both my legs for a pair of $12 insoles).

here is what i learned during my very scientific testing process. Read the rest of this entry »





shaking the mystery box.

3 06 2011

sometimes, i apply for so many freebies and shit online, that i completely forget what i’ve applied for. in the last few weeks, i’ve had not one but THREE  mystery boxes show up on my porch with a WTF, and then subsequent OMG upon opening them. i’ve gotten some really kick ass stuff in the last month… and now i’m gonna tell you about it: Read the rest of this entry »





what the F is birchbox?

16 05 2011

anyone who has read the weekend pickthrough in the last few months knows that i have an undeniable crush on the hairpin.  what can i say, it’s a sassy online lady magazine that boasts such hardhitting articles as “how to make a doll into a wine glass in 23 quick steps“, and “9 things to name your oregon trail family“.  it’s true love.

well, a few weeks ago, i stumbled across this fine piece of journalism regarding a beauty sample subscription service called birchbox. you give them $10 a month, and they send you a very sexy (and i mean that packing is CRAZY FINE) box of hand picked samples designed to give you a big giant beauty boner.

in my package, i received the following:

juice beauty- green apple peel
archipelago- pomegranate soap
kerastase- reconstructive shampoo & a packet of something called “topseal” that i don’t entirely understand
ahava- mineral body lotion
jouer- tinted lip enhancer (i think it makes them puffy & glossy)

theoretically, you’re supposed to love the samples so much, that you go onto the birchbox website, and buy full sized versions of the products. and here is where i think we will part ways.

i’m not a fancy beauty product lady. there are 1,000,001 things that i feel like spending $50 dollars on, and fancy lip gloss and lotion are not included in that number. sure, $10 for samples of all the fancy stuff is perfect for me, so i can play without the financial impact.  but i’m never going to spend $25 on anything with the word “plumper” in the title, i’m just not.

selfishly however, i want their endeavor to succeed because i think it’s cool and i want more samples. therefore, if you are a beauty junkie, this is a really fun way to test drive all the newest smelly hair stuff technology before you buy. plus, the stunning little box you get in the mail makes it feel like motherfucking xmas.







holy spring cleaning jackpot batman: an ode to free stuff.

24 03 2011

despite the fact that my attempts at going dairy free are not going quite  as planned (and certainly not providing the result that i think the silk company was looking for), i am still grateful to the fine folks at bzzagent for hooking me up with the free soymilk. i love free stuff, and i am always completely shocked when companies are willing to throw it at me just because i MIGHT be willing to discuss their product online.

remember that time that time i got that full sized bottle of pantene in the mail from vocalpoint? i sent that shit to preble street, and nobody even noticed. why just last week they offered me a free pint of some sort of flavored creamer (which will hopefully go a bit better than my last unsavory creamer incident).

but back to bzzagent. after many months of not getting offered crap from them (free redbox rental- big whoop), i got the soy milk offer AND an SC johnson cleaning product offer all in one week. my silk package arrived in an envelope, just coupons and a handful of propaganda that i didn’t read (sorry silk!) (sort of). so i figured that my spring cleaning kit would also show up in booklet form.

instead, i got this: Read the rest of this entry »





lactose intolerant.

15 03 2011

well, for a few days at least. those crazy cats over at bzzagent sent me free silk soymilk coupons under the condition that i give up milk for 10 days (like it’s some sort of challenge or something). not one to back away from a challenge (especially one that involves me getting free stuff), i decided that i’m not only giving up milk for 10 days, i’m giving  all dairy.

i have sort of a cheese and butter problem to start with, even though my personal ethics would really love for me to be a vegan. i thought this would be a good way for me to test the dairy free waters, without any major commitments or expectations. although i already spent over $100 on dairy free groceries that i am convinced will help me make it through the tough times that i assume to be ahead. what i’ve learned so far: Read the rest of this entry »