to the boy with the blue haired girlfriend.

29 02 2012

like much of america, i spent my president’s day honoring our founding fathers with my credit card. george washington is totally going to love my new pencil skirt (H&M was having a BOGO on all sale items). but my purchases, shockingly, are not the central focus of this post.

while at the forever21 (i know i’m probably too old to shop there, but i fundamentally don’t give a shit and they had a lot of really cute work blouses for under $20), i saw this young girl cruise by- boyfriend in tow. this is a pretty unremarkable thing at the mall, since it’s pretty much wall to wall teenagers (enough to give me a massive panic attack at the delia’s). but in the vast field of skinny jeans and ankle boots, messy ponytails and graphic Ts, this girl was a standout. bright blue hair in braids, and this enormous home made bow perched on top of her head that looked like she ripped it off a samantha doll circa 1992.

and there was her adorable boyfriend. trailing behind, happily bobbing through the cacophony of racks, fluorescent lighting, and pushy high schoolers.

and i looked at that ill advised bow. and i looked at that boy. and i realized that i needed to send a thank you note to every boy that i ever dated from age 14 to about 25. Read the rest of this entry »





the september issue.

9 09 2011

if you’ve ever been a reader of fashion magazines, you know that the september issue is notoriously huge (usually about 2 inches thick). one would think that its increased bulk is due solely to the coverage of the fall collections, but one would be wrong. sure, maybe fashion week coverage adds a few pages here and there, but far more than half of the 758 pages in this year’s september issue are ads, ads, and oh- isn’t that some more ads over there?

now, these ads are usually for all sorts of high and brands- your standards chanels, and guccis and marc jacobs types… nothing remarkable (actually, they all tend to look exactly the same to me, you would think they would try harder). however, this year, i noticed and interesting trend. in addition to the standard fancy pantsness, there was a disproportionately large amount of ads for more pedestrian (discount even!) chains trying to keep up with the couture.

lots and lots of celebrity designed lines (karadashians for sears? oh lord!), but also just a general attempt to show that dowdy department stores are at least trying a little bit more than usual to keep up in the contemporary fashion marketplace. edgy ad campaigns! more modern shapes!

well, i ripped all the ads out, and decided that i would do a shopping tour of this supposedly affordable high end design. i am most excited for lagerfeld for macys, and french connection for sears, but my initial inspiration came from the very charming (most especially amongst the satin draped airbrushed bone racks that the rest of the ads were schilling) “money can’t buy style” campaign by kmart.

well, it just so happened that was going to augusta this week, where resides one of the last remaining kmarts in maine. also, it is my hometown. Read the rest of this entry »





unflattering garments for science.

16 02 2011


i have a new post up at the goodwill of northern new england blog today! in this issue, i try out an exceptionally questionable (and puffy) skirt that only looks cute from one angle (and not really even that cute- more like passable). what i learned from my experience is that the mirror LIES. i really thought it wasn’t that bad… but the photos were crushing. no wonder cher horowitz always relied on polaroids. i posted the only semi-cute (save for the bad angle potato-head factor) photo on the goodwill blog, but you can see the grisly mess that is the rest of the shots over at my flickr. i especially like the ones where i look both pregnant, and like my legs are on backwards.





the jumpsuit chronicles.

5 01 2011

so it looks like i’ll be contributing more regularly to the goodwill of northern new england blog with my second hand fashion exploits, and i’m SUPER EXCITED about it. not only is it a chance to write for another cool local blog (especially one attached to such a super worthy cause as goodwill), but it’s also a really fantastic excuse for me to expand my ailing wardrobe.  in case you haven’t already heard the story a thousand times, i gained 30 lbs. 2 years ago, and have been exceptionally reluctant to buy bigger clothes. even when faced with the persistent reality that this is just the size that i am now,  i still  just can’t bring myself to invest in a wardrobe in a size that feels like it belongs to someone else. this is very stupid.

anyway, this new goodwill gig is a great way for me to ditch the unhealthy body image game, support a great cause, and remember why i love clothes shopping in the first place (and still maintain my budgetary goals). basically, it’s a win, win, win (with a side of win) situation (FTW).  i have a new post up today about an legendary sweater shopping weekend (OMG CASHMERE), but instead of just straight up posting links to my goodwill stuff, I thought it would be fun to give you guys some super secret outtakes from my horribly awkward and poorly lit fashion shoots (anyone out there want to take pictures of me- the boyfriend is a willing but unable photographer!).

so this week at goodwill, i  wrote about 3 awesome j crew sweaters that i bought, but what i didn’t mention is that i also found this most amazing 80s jumpsuit for $2.50 (way to go red barb!)! it’s totally ridiculous, and kind of makes me look preggo (or that my just be some post-xmas salt bloat), but i love it anyway. thinking about wearing it this summer with really tall platforms and some sort of giant gold belt. please note the button detailing on the sleeves and pants cuffs.  if only i had an animated gif of me operating the full frontal zipper.





i’m fashion blogger famous!

21 12 2010

i promised a long long time ago, that i was going to add a budget fashion feature to the ole broke207. well, i lied! totally! i’ve been trying all year to figure out how to get it going, and i just couldn’t figure it out. i would start and stop and reconfigure, but the post just never… posted. well, a few weeks ago, i had an actual revelation! perusing a guest post on the goodwill of northern new england blog, i realized that maybe the fashion post didn’t belong on broke207, and that’s why i was having such a hard time writing it.

well, i decided to nut up and contact goodwill, and see if they were interested in a potential weekly fashion feature. you never know unless you ask, right? well, they received my idea very very kindly (thanks for being awesome michelle!), and my very first post is up today! if they like it, it will be a continuing thing. if they don’t, at least i got a totally sweet outfit for $10.49. it’s a win win!

so anyway, go and check me out, and maybe even leave a little comment love so they let me do it again. and if you’re really lucky, i can talk some of my favorite local fashion bloggers into doing it with me.





cheap slut.

23 07 2010

i know i’ve been babbling on about burlesque for a few weeks now, but my amateur night performance is now exactly 20 days away (august 12th!), and i’ve got jack figured out. well, i’ve got the name narrowed down to three following choices:

candy handfuls
candy le cour
candy sprinkles

any thoughts? maybe i need to run some sort of poll? regardless, i’m not really impressing anyone by having the least important element of my performance 1/3 completed.  still to do:

choreography
props
costumes

it’s really that last one that’s going to wreck up the joint. because it is a special (and likely once in a lifetime) occasion, i have decided to allow myself a small budgetary concession for costuming. otherwise, i’ll be wearing a an aging maidenform and some very questionable hanes her ways. however, that does not give me license to go all agent provocatuer (although wouldn’t this be perfection?), and spend several hundred dollars on upscale pretties. this is burlesque on a budget and i need to find my pumps and pasties for low low prices.

first rule of thumb for buying sexy costumes for less: if the website specializes in retro lingerie or has a pinup theme– it’s gonna be pricey. if it’s all sorts of trashy and essentially built for hookers, you’re in the right place. hints to know that you’re headed in the right direction- classy names like discountstripper.com or stripperzone are a strong indicator. also, early 90s era web design.

after spending some time perusing the discount wares at fine establishments like sexymart, you’ll notice that stripper shoes are still upwards of $50 a pair. unfortunately, sexy shoes are essential to effective sexy dancing, so additional (but equally slutty) resources are needed. skankwear is the answer! though nearly identical in product to the exotic dancewear sites, for some reason the shoes at the tramp depots are wicked ridiculous cheap. i definitely think i’ll be getting these, but i am also strongly considering these (maybe for a naughty nurse number?).

one of the best things that sets burlesque apart from straight up stripping is the costumes. it’s never about just straight-up  off the rack lingerie, it’s the details. custom corsets, hand applied rhinestones, tassles, and lace. i will personally be adding some garter straps to my knickers (traditional garter belts accentuate all my fat parts), and adorning the whole situation with copious bows.  as for pasties, the really nice ones are insanely expensive, and the really not nice ones are just giant stickers for your boobs in a way that is totally not cute. the good news is that instructables tells me that i can make my own, and i’m going to choose to believe them.

if you haven’t noticed, i’m being extremely ambiguous about the details of my routine. it is a competition after all, and i do want it to be at least a little bit of a surprise. for now, just think hooker heels and lots of bows, and i’ll see what i can do about not making it an utter disaster. oh, and if you know any males in the area with booming voices and no shame- i might need your help.





rip off artist.

13 07 2010

i have a blog crush. several actually, but the object of today’s affection belongs solely to a sweet disorder. there are many days when i wish i had decided to write a style blog instead of a financial blog… although i’d probably be in a lot more debt if i had taken that route.  but then i read kate’s blog, and i realize that i just don’t have the fashion chops. the girl rocked a goddamn air cast boot for like 2 months, and still looked cooler than everyone else in the room. i think my wardrobe is too basic to be interesting. not ballsy enough. although i’m also not a gorgeous amazon redhead with a tuft of peacock green hair.  but enough of the gratuitous love fest. i’m really loving on a sweet disorder today, because i’m about to blatantly rip off one of her posts (with love!).

i hold kate entirely responsible for my new polyvore addiction. it reminds me of being 14 years old and papering my bedroom walls from floor to ceiling with pictures i dissected from my mom’s old vogues & Ws. plus, it has an interactive shopping element! SHOPPING! kate’s been killing with the polyvore for a while now (i especially love her “cute stuff you might actually be able to afford” series), but this week she turned turned her gaze on drugstore beauty (well, she does work at a drugstore), and i decided it was time to steal the post and RUN.

i’m not really a beauty products person, but something about her post (possibly the glorious mint green nail polish) made me want to think about the beauty products that i do use. i definitely didn’t have a whole page worth, but i had some fun narrowing it down to just 10 products that i absolutely can not live without:

1. l’oreal hydrafresh toner– i have super sensitive skin, and this stuff is so gentle that i can carelessly get it in my eyes with no ill repercussions.

2. bonne bell gel blush– i’ve been using this since high school, and it’s the only blush that i’ve ever felt looks even remotely natural. plus, it’s dirt cheap @ $4.00 a tube. too bad it’s only available online through the bonne bell “heritage collection”. i should stock up now before it goes extinct completely.

3. dove deodorant– nice smell, moisturizing, does its job.

4. blistex lip medex– i’m a complete slut for chapstick, and probably apply some sort of lip balm upwards of 20 times a day. i’m also very partial to carmex and burt’s bees, but lip medex wins the overall prize for being the longest lasting and most moisturizing.

5. philosophy candy cane body wash– frugal me should think that paying $16 for a container of bodywash is a poor value proposition when there are so many similar products on the market that cost so much less. but this one is so minty and tingly and perfect. i mean, who doesn’t want to smell like a candy cane year round?

6. egoiste by chanel– i’ve been wearing this since high school. i often find perfume to be too heavy and flowery, but men’s cologne seems somehow lighter and more sophisticated on a woman (although i’m probably making that part up). this one smells like lemons and campfires and vanilla ice cream, and i’m pretty sure if i was douchey enough to use the phrase “signature scent”, this one would qualify as mine (i’ll be buried in it!).

7. revlon super lustrous shiny sheers in plumdrop– the perfect natural shade of lipstick is rare and beautiful, and i’ve got 4 tubes of this under my sink right now (right next to the enormous bin of reject colors). i’m hoarding, because it’s been discontinued (bummer). but if you know there’s something that you love that has left the shelves, check BIG LOTS. a ton of the major makeup manufacturers sell their discontinued overstock to discount stores for low low prices, and i got mine for $3 each.

8. biolage normalizing shampoo– i spent $.99 on my shampoo for YEARS. and in general, i don’t give a shit about my hair at all (i might own a comb or something…), but this one smells fresh and perfect like grapefruits and summertime. i can’t say that it works any better than my suave, but the scent alone makes it worth the $19 a bottle. also, i hate showering, so it takes me a while to go through.

9. max factor facefinity foundation in #2 light ivory– yet another shamefully discontinued product. this time, the only foundation that ever matched my skintone. another tip for hunting down and stockpiling fallen favorites, bring on the ebay. even if you missed it at big lots, somebody else grabbed it, and will not sell it to you for twice the price. my long-term solution, stockpile now, keep foundation stash fresh in the fridge (butter dish) for later.

10. earth therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray– i’m a flats girl, and with the sheer amount of miles i put on those babies by the end of the summer (those invible socks that aren’t ever invisible, don’t really do i for me), they start to get a little rank (and by a little, i mean a lot). this spray makes my smelly shoes smell like the minty rainforest (sometimes i spray it on my wrists it smells so good), and is super refreshing spritz on my hot and tired summer feet.

now it’s your mission to copy me (well, kate) and gell me your own beauty secrets. (and seriously, go to polyvore- it’s the funnest ever).