little emergencies.

9 06 2012

i know i promised that i was done talking about gross medical stuff for a while, but what i really meant is that i was done talking about gross fibroid related medical stuff for a while. and i totally am. actually, things in that area appear to be going pretty well.

but as appears to be the law when it comes to my health, it’s time for something else to go wrong. nothing big, just a really amazing UTI. but enough to send me to the emergency again. i really need to get a big jar to save all of my hospital bracelets in. i’m getting quite the impressive collection.

but, i wouldn’t be bothering  you with the exciting details off my busted urinary tract if i hadn’t learned a valuable lesson or two in the process of peeing in that cup (pictured at left).

1. there are no home remedies that will cure a UTI. don’t waste your time. the time i spent attempting to override my swiftly deteriorating bladder with cranberry flushes, baking soda,  and other google generated nonsense only added unnecessary time between me and the doctor’s office. basically, trying to fix it myself gave me just the right amount of time to escalate from “slight discomfort” to “PISSING RAZOR BLADES”. seriously, go to the damn doctor.

2. as stated in point #1, a home remedy won’t do dick. but, a little product called AZO will. it won’t cure it, but it will make life a lot less horrible while you’re waiting for your antibiotics kick in. however, be forewarned- IT WILL TURN YOUR PEE ELECTRIC ORANGE. wear black underwear, that is all.

3. because these things tend to escalate fairly quickly, you should be getting yourself to the doctor about now. now, if your doctor’s office is anything like mine, when you call them up at 5 pm to politely request an appointment for the following day, a cranky receptionist will inform you that you need to call back in the morning and hope that there is an appointment available in one of their emergency slots.

now, if your urinary tract in anything like mine, you know that the “pissing razor blades” stage will become the “pissing bigger razor blades and also  blood” stage very shortly.  good times. but despite this being very much a personal emergency, it’s not exactly the heart attack/gunshot wound/meningitis type emergency that belongs in the real emergency room.

what i learned this week is that there is a tiny secondary emergency room on brighton ave. called “brighton first care“. unlike the big scary ER, this is where you go when you have more of the panic attack/cutlery wound/bronchitis kind of emergency. this is where you go when it hurts when you pee and can’t wait until 8:15 tomorrow to call for an appointment that may or may not exist.

and when you get there, the intake lady will only make you fill out one form. and everyone at the nurses sation will laugh at the stupid joke you make when you hand over the biohazard baggie containing your sample of fluorescent orange pee. and another nurse will bring you a styrofoam cup filled of water with a bendy straw so that you can keep hydrated while you wait for your lab results.

it was like fucking emergency room heaven (if such a thing exists).

despite me coming in 20 minutes before closing time, and accidentally peeing all over the outside of the collection cup, everyone was nice and accommodating, and i was outta there with my prescription in less than an hour.

seriously. next time you get a spider bite or smash your fingers in a car door, you gotta go there. i hope not to be there again anytime soon. but with me, it’s probably only a matter of time. so… see you there?




16 responses

10 06 2012

Plus, last week when my power steering pulley (wtf is that??) busted and I was having a panic attack driving down Brighton to get to VIP to fix it it was the perfect place to screech (smoke, and crunch) in to until my awesome little brother could come help me. I love Brighton first care! Also for medical reasons. 🙂

10 06 2012

they need to use this somehow in an advertising campaign. “we’ll fix your medical jazz, AND we’re a convenient place to pull over when your car is going to blow up.” they have everything!

10 06 2012

Dude UTIs suck. I have had them chronically since I was 16. Like, once a month. They have finally stopped but jesus christ I feel your paint. This is very poor practice but the solution for me has been toting around macrobid in my purse at all times. As soon as I feel the slightest hint of a uti I pop one and away it goes. They are evil bastards and I hate them! Hooray for TMI.

10 06 2012

UTIs are the worst. i had them chronically in college, and then they cleared up for a while, but they appear to be getting a second wind. how do you get the macrobid to tote around? they’ve only ever given me enough to get through the UTI that i have. the AZO at least keeps me from screaming every time i have to use the bathroom, but it’s not a long term solution.

12 06 2012

I had to tell the doctor in great detail about my many years of dealing with this. I just told them that it is the ONLY thing that works. I think I had a prescription from Canada when I first got it here and that helped to convince them I knew what the hell I was talking about. Tell them that any time you bang it happens! that helped convince them too. That is what used to happen to me. Now it is just randomly. I tried other antibiotics but they all gave me yeast infections to go along with the UTI. Lovely. macrobid was the only one that did not do that.

13 07 2012

i took macrobid a few times when i was in college! they look like bumble bees as i recall… i hate antibiotics, always with the yeast infections, but maybe i’ll ask for that one next time and see if i get better results. although i’m hoping that there won’t be a next time. so far so good with the staying super hydrated and drinking cranberry after sexy times.

10 06 2012

LOVE brighton first care. i have been there more times than i can count with broken arms (isaac’s), burned arms (mine), sore throats (also mine), banged-up visiting children, etc. they are nice. sometimes they’re super busy and you have to wait, but it never feels quite as dire and tragic as the real ER.

10 06 2012

it was really a revelation for me. i spent so many hours waiting at MEMED for my case to move up the chain of emergency. and it’s terrifying in there! brighton was like the rolls royce of emergency rooms. apparently, the key is to come late in the day.

10 06 2012

UTI’s make me want to die. I pee all the time anyways, so having to pee even more often and then feeling like I need to pee STILL is like hell.

10 06 2012

ME TOO. having a UTI is like the first level of hell. being afraid to go to the bathroom is the worst thing.

12 06 2012
sweeter salt

oh god, hope you’re doing better! i went to brighton first care when i broke my elbows and it was definitely the way to go. the line was longish (but shorter than the emergency room), but when i got in they took great care of me and were SO NICE it was shocking.

feel better!

13 07 2012

they were so nice it blew my mind. and even when there’s a wait, they still take you in and get your vitals while you’re waiting. i can’t believe you didn’t go to the real emergency whit your broken elbows!

13 06 2012
kate @ bbf.

ok, i second all the uti’s complaints. they’re terrible. but there is one OTC product that changed my life – i swear i used to have peeing razor blade ones too, but now i haven’t in a long time. the second you feel a twinge, even the slightest one! take this:
loads of it, its impossible to OD. and it works!! i swearz. they sell it at whole foods and it’s $25, but to avoid having the pain and go to the dr. it’s worth it. at least will help symptoms until you get to dr. too, even if you still go for an antibiotic.

13 07 2012

ooh. i will totes check this out. i actually went to the whole foods to look at cranberry supplements, but was really overwhelmed by all the choices and went home with nothing. “kate approved” is all i need. i’m basically looking for something to take after sex as a preventative measure (sorry for the tmi). do you think this will work? does it taste bad?

14 06 2012
ashley jordan

aww girl! hopefully this will mean full on healthy health for the second half of your life. and yes, brighton first care is great. luckily for me (knock on wood) i have only had to bring others there for their injuries. feel better!

13 07 2012

thanks ashley! i really do need to get a decorative bin for all my hospital bracelets. after the bird lice freak out, i now have 5 in my collection for the 2012 calendar year. too many!

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