blood loss.

1 04 2012

i know. i’ve been gone for weeks. i gotta tell you, these grapefruits got me DOWN.

when last we met, i was about to go in for an MRI to see if the embolization surgery was the right option for me. and the good news/short story is that i am. my surgery is scheduled for the 6th, and the grapefruit reign of terror will soon be over. assuming that is that you think 2-6 months means soon, and that 40-60% reduction means over.

some things i learned during the MRI process:

1. if the intake nurse is worried that she’ll “jinx it” by telling you that she’s good at inserting IV lines, she’s probably not very good at it. 2 painful punctures and a lot of crying later- she had to go get the lady who can insert an IV on a baby. 45 seconds and virtually no pain later, i was in business. next time, i will ask for that lady up front.

2. if the intake nurse stabs you a bunch of times and makes you cry, the MRI tech will do virtually anything to shut you up. that includes piping radiolab into the headphones that drown out the noise of the machine.

3. the machine is really fucking loud. and they put your chest in a plastic cage and you can’t move, and sometimes you aren’t even supposed to breathe. in general, this would make for a long hour. however, if you are lucky enough to have taken an ativan during the intake, this part does not seem too bad.

but that’s over now. now all i need to do is GET PUMPED for the procedure. i’ve been trying hard not to google too much, but there aren’t really any answers to what i want to know anyway. like “when will the abdominal bloating go away” and “do i really need to be catheterized?” it seems that people only write about their personal experiences with uterine artery embolization if something either went really wrong, or they’re writing a testimonial for a doctor’s website. not exactly the most helpful cross section…

i’ve been busying myself by buying “sick supplies” like crackers, a blender, and a space foam pad for my bed. i also maybe accidentally spent $100 on books at amazon.com. oh, and i should probably mention the hot pink sweatpants with LOVE written across the butt in glitter (they were on sale).

but the biggest problem that i’ve been encountering through all this pre-surgery busy-ness is the overwhelming fatigue. these fibroids are essentially stealing all my blood! according to my MRI, there are no fewer than 5 fibroids of “significant” size (ranging from grapefruit to golf ball). the big problem is that they are both causing me to lose blood (probably TMI, but it has been shark week FOR LIKE A MONTH), AND the blood that they are not expelling, they are hoarding in their giant hard engorged tumor bodies. wow. that’s gross. but true!

these bitches are stealing all my blood and i feel like i’m dying a little. my usually perky on 4-6 hours a night self can’t be satisfied with even 9 hours. and when i do sleep, i’m waking up every 2 hours to pee (did i mention that there is a grapefruit sitting directly on my bladder?), or because of the stabbing stabbing back pain. i even had to stop sitting on my balance ball at work. i am the living dead. i can essentially get up (barely), walk the dog, go to work, come home, and curl up on the couch until it’s time for bed.

it’s not that i don’t want to write. i think about it every day. i just can’t do anything. i’m hoping that after my surgery, i’ll wake back up again. you know, after i’m done vomiting.

i’ve been making a lot of jokes about how i’m going to live tweet my surgery. but maybe that’s only hilarious to me. but anyway, i’ll keep you posted.

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7 responses

2 04 2012
Imogen Flowers

See, I never liked grapefruits. Or golf, for that matter. Well, minigolf is pretty sweet, but I digress. Good luck with your surgery. Fibroids, in the name of modern medicine, get thee gone!

3 04 2012
bessmarvin

it’s funny. grapefruits are actually still my favorite fruit! maybe you would like to come over some night and watch a crappy horror movie and snuggle on the couch during my recovery? i will feed you applesauce and coconut milk ice cream.

2 04 2012
Gerry

Hoping things go smoothly and that your recovery is quick and uneventful. I bet you will do so well that you will be all “pa-shaw, fibroids? Easy Peasy!” Take good care of yourself.

2 04 2012
bessmarvin

thanks gerry! i have a feeling it will be a few days of praying for death, and then a lot of “this ain’t so bad”. if nothing else, i hope to be getting a shitload of sleep.

2 04 2012
Bobbi

If you need anything, like someone to take your dog for walks while you recover, let me know. I love dogs. I love walks. I live next door (or two doors down). I also have a ton of books, dvds and a surprising amount of lady mags since I decided to sign up for subscriptions because they were so cheap. Now I am swimming in unread magazines. That you can read.

3 04 2012
bessmarvin

we really do need to hang out. this is true. thank you for being so goddamn sweet! and to tell the truth, i may very well call on you to walk my dog. i have hopes that i will be functional by sunday when he comes home, but who even knows. but seriously, i won’t watch overboard with anyone but you.

3 04 2012
Bobbi

yes! that sounds perfect.

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