i just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and encouragement (as well as general hoots and “take it all offs”) regarding my big burlesque debut on thursday. the cliff’s notes update is that no, i didn’t win. but, i did rock my piece as hard as i could, and there were no broken legs or embarrassing urinary mishaps. you will however have to wait at least another day or two until my full write up is finished for the maine observer (assuming i write something that they actually want to publish). however, in my travels, i did come across an extremely interesting bit of noteworthy information. it all went down like this:
FRIEND: (re: me needing a post titty-shakin snack) man, geno’s should serve food.
ALLIE: um, why would you want to eat there? it’s a dive bar that used to be a porno theater? (*for those of you who weren’t around portland 15 years ago, it used to be the “fine art cinema”- classy!).
of course i thought it was hilarious, and immediately posted it to twitter. along with a lot of discussions about other places in portland too dirty for food consumption, this little tidbit popped up:
from @sukisusan: Rumor is that by law they must serve food. So they have a freezer full of Hot Pockets.
i brushed it off a brilliant joke, and then the next morning, this comment surfaced:
from @seanwilk: they have Hot Pockets. #true
could it be? on my lunch break friday, i decided to call geno’s and get the lowdown. in the most awkward phone conversation that i’ve probably ever had in my life- IT WAS CONFIRMED. some sort of weird licensing regulation requires them to be able to serve hot food. the answer- A FREEZER FULL OF HOT POCKETS. and they’re not just for show, you can order and consume those bitches (although i did forget to ask how much the cost- damn!). get to it!
i’m proud of my state for a lot of reasons, but this isn’t one of them.
all my sexiest cheese fantasies are finally coming true (and for only $4).
once i get the ikea bus going, this is my next portland improvement venture.
so i entered this writing contest… could somebody else please enter so that mine isn’t the only crazy silly one. for some reason, people seem to think that good writing has to be SAD writing. i don’t get it…
just what i always suspected, iphone users are kind of sluts.
first lebron, and now grimace? this free agency thing is getting out of hand.