weekend pickthrough- underwater edition.

21 05 2010

much like a gigantic jellyfish, this week came out of nowhere. i had all these brilliant plans about getting 8 hours of sleep and being a productive and worthy human… and giant jelly just wobbled in and knocked the infrastructure out of my whole week. fuck.

obviously the wordpress.com feature was totally awesome, but my goal to try and answer all my comments is slowly killing me. maybe i’m 1/4 of the way through… and then of course there was the demon dog. not only did i have to pick up poop for the first time in my life (not impressed jamie- please stick to your regular pooping schedule!), but i also had to rearrange the whole way i formatted my life. no reading in bed because the light will keep the dog up… get up half an hour earlier than usual to take the dog on a walk… my texts to the boyfriend during the work day were no longer about our days or our plans, but about the dog’s bathroom habits and who was next on the walking schedule…

and then this morning, i awoke to find that the gentlemen putting on my new roof, had sealed me into my condo with a large piece of plywood over the door and several layers of blue tarps. i had to locate a hole in the tarps to scream through so that they could let me (and the dog) out. they seemed unimpressed. also, i got asphalt in my hair.

because i was so crazy sleepless behind this week, i haven’t mined as many great pickthrough items as usual.  but hopefully you can still find something to enjoy in this slightly truncated and hastily thrown together weekend pickthrough:

i thought that reviewing applebees on tripadvisor was the lamest possible thing you could do on the internet, i was wrong.

ghost towns of the recession.

does anyone else have one of these? i’m obsessed with trying one out (and frankly i see the “sexually suggestive” nature of the product to be a pro and not a con).

amanda jennifer shows us the hidden hazards of spanx.

what’s better than an adult spelling bee? a DRUNKEN adult spelling bee.

wait, you mean that the 3rd dimension isn’t new? incessant ramblings on the suckyness that is 3-D.

dirtnap daydreams. that portland food coma guy plans the ultimate fantasy binge before he heads to the big vomitorium in the sky. (bonus points for wanting to eat sushi off a naked lady).

am i totally stupid for not realizing that you can make ketchup in your very own kitchen? yeah, probably.

and of course, the week isn’t complete without a wistful fanboy wave goodbye to LOST (i don’t know about you, but i’d cut a bitch to get my hands on daniel faraday’s notebook).

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13 responses

21 05 2010
Jen

My mom claims that the only benefit that came from one of my ex-boyfriends was his grandmother’s ketchup recipe. It is SOOOO good. I have actually been thinking I need to dig out the jar of it that’s down in the basement and cook up some hot dogs to put it on. It isn’t like bottled ketchup, it’s more like a chili sauce I guess… it is SOOO dark and SOOO good!

23 05 2010
bessmarvin

that sounds way delicious. all my grandma knew how to make was a highball. if you ever wander across the recipe, share the love!

23 05 2010
Jen

I will get it for you. I can tell you that it’s kind of a pain in the ass to make but oh so worth it!!!

21 05 2010
blackgirlinmaine

i must confess that as much as I like cooking when the mood strikes, making condiments has never really crossed my mind. If you think dealing with a dog is rough, definitely delay the kiddos since your life really does revolve around the habits of another creature. All I can say is when the kidlet was fully potty trained and could handle her own poops I wanted to jump for joy, now she wants a dog. Noooooo. I cannot handle poo, just can’t do it.

Catch up on your sleep and reply to the zillion comments when you can.

23 05 2010
bessmarvin

seriously, who thinks to make ketchup?! although now that i’ve been reminded that’s it’s a possibility, i’m so on it. after almost 2 weeks, i’m definitely getting used to the dog, but it’s still a lot of work. the boyfriend and i are still thinking about getting one of our own sometime this year. we figure it’s a good test to see if we can have kids and not ruin them. although in either case, i am not excited about the poop.

21 05 2010
jill

hahahahaha.. the shake weight. a hilarious lady i work with pulled this up at work. she is hysterical herself and when she pulled up the informercial on the commerical we were in stitches.. there is also an snl skit on it. its out of control. fyi they sell them at bed bath and beyond.

23 05 2010
bessmarvin

you can bet your ass that i’ll be doing a review of the shake weight when i finally get my hands on one! it’s ludicrous, but i’ll do anything to get rid of my fat arms. plus, i bet i’ll give better hand jobs.

22 05 2010
chris

i just knew spanx could disfigure you for life! i went on vaca last month, and after getting my spanx on under my dress i was too tired to go to dinner.

22 05 2010
bessmarvin

amen! maybe we should make a “cardio spanx” workout video, where the whole exercise plan is just the process of wriggling into a pair of full body spanx. we’ll be millionaires!

22 05 2010
Colleen O

Applebee’s reviews….hahahahahahahaha

22 05 2010
bessmarvin

if you want to be really horrified, look up some reviews of the olive garden. people LOVE that shit in the worst possible way.

24 05 2010
jjdactyl

You should just combine the two- Spanx and a Shake Weight. It would be the best video ever. You’d only be able to do one, because your organs would be too tired after the first go ’round, but it would be worth it!

25 05 2010
bessmarvin

i think you’re on to something! i’m gonna be soooooooooo skinny. unless the spanx crush all my organs and i die, in which case… i want you to have my shakeweight. you need to carry on the legacy!

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