rollercoaster of love.

25 04 2010

i did something this weekend that terrified me. how i got involved is somewhat irrelevant, but the end result was me doing the hustle in the aisles at this weekend’s play that funky music PSO! concert. and in the lobby. and eventually leading the YMCA on stage with motor booty affair. no, i didn’t just lose my shit and start bustin moves everywhere… i was actually part of the show.

ever since i started working with vivid motion doing costumes, i have been feeling the performance itch a little (it just looks like so much g-d fun). problem being that i don’t actually know how to dance. well, every now and again (outside the bounds of the 3 yearly full-scale shows) they get a chance to throw together a quickie informal performance that they open up to whoever in the company wants to be involved. in comes the PSO saying “hey, it would be really great to have some dancers shaking their respective groove things in the aisles at our upcoming 70s tribute concert”, and an opportunity is born.

at first, i turned it down. not entirely interested in breaking the 4th wall and invading the space of quiet symphony concert goers. too scary. but somehow… a combination of some lovely and persistent friends and a nagging feeling that i need to make more of an effort to get over my myself, i wound up on the dancer list.  a mere 24 hours later, i was shakin my disco tits at the merrill auditorium in a halter dress (see inset photo).

i learned a lot of things this weekend. like that a big gold chain makes all the difference, or that there are very people who can resist the dance temptations of the village people.   but more importantly, that being scared of something is far worse than actually doing the thing that you’re scared of. yes, i felt a lot like vomiting or peeing my pants every time the opening strains of love rollercoaster started to fill the lobby (both in my worst case scenario nightmares), but once you show up in your your best 70s hotel lobby hooker outfit, there’s no turning back. and you know, it was ok. i flubbed the choreography a little in parts, and today i stumbled and fell off my platform shoes… but i put on my best disco smile and just kept going.

ok, so this doesn’t have anything to do with money or coupons or rite aid deals… but (at least right now), it feels like an important lesson. i’ve spent YEARS being afraid of making a scene or drawing unnecessary attention to myself. and today, i threw my glitter covered ass into the fray- and it was AWESOME. i wasted all that time being afraid of something that was actually really fun. fuck that shit. here’s my new two part plan:

1. tell fear to fuck off and give scary things a try.

2. even if you fall off your platform shoes just smile and keep going.

hustle that bitches.

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5 responses

26 04 2010
Kate

I just want to say that I too fear dancing in public, and that that is a fabulous dress.

26 04 2010
bessmarvin

thanks! it’s my go-to dress for any occasion (even very public booty shakin). and miraculously, it fits me no matter what size i am.

26 04 2010
imogen flowers

Amazing! Wish I’d seen it. You look ultra fab in this photo.

26 04 2010
bessmarvin

aw! i’ll have to give you a private hustle showing next time we hang out! if you’re lucky, i’ll even show you how to do the jan brady (you know you want to).

27 04 2010
blackgirlinmaine

That dress is fabulous!

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