i’ve been bragging a lot about how i never get sick. last time i did, i barfed for two days. this time, i have become the world’s most foremost producer of mucous. i am grotesque. i spent the better half of the day at work sitting at my desk trying to will my brain case not to explode and cover my whole office with goo. the latter half, i spent face down on my couch whacked out on dayquil. why is this relevant you ask? well, i speak today on the subject of good timing.
yesterday after work, before the snot avalanche began, i took a trip to rite aid in search of toilet paper. how dare i run out in the first place, but especially during a week where nothing that great is happening in the paper products category. but poor planning and making do are what i’m good for, so here’s what i came up with:
2 12-packs of cottonelle on sale for $5.99 each.
6 boxes puffs plus (with lotion- for my mangled nose) @ $.79 each.
1 box kashi heart to heart cereal @ $4.99.
$5/$20 rite aid video values coupon.
2 $1/1 cottonelle video values coupons (one from last month and one from this month).
$1.50 in random cottonelle newspaper coupons that i had in the stash.
$1/6 puffs plus coupon (again from the newspaper stash).
1 free box of kashi heart to heart cereal or crackers coupon from vocalpoint (i fucking love those guys, and they don’t even pay me to do it).
no, it’s not free. but in a pinch, 24 rolls of decent toilet paper, a box of fancy pants cereal, and 6 boxes of tissues for $6 is still pretty damn decent. but back to the good timing. the universe may be punishing me for bragging about my iron immune system (seeming more like aluminum lately), but at least it had mercy enough to get me to buy 6 boxes of tissues in advance. might i add, 3 of which are already open and half gone (upstairs, downstairs, and work).