still life with wreckage.

1 02 2010

i’m no home maker. not even a little. i do love cooking,  organization, and feeling like i’m no longer living in a college dorm room… but my apartment still gets crazy shitty all the time. i leave wet towels on the floor, crumbs on the counter top, and junk mail littered all over the coffee table (floor next to the coffee table if it’s dinner time).

baking day is absolutely no exception. as evidenced by the photo above, baking day was a giant mess. are there people out there who can make a month’s worth of food and not turn their kitchen into armageddon? tell me your secrets! it would probably help if i started baking day before 6 pm.

anyway… it’s 12:47, my feet feel huge, and i’m going to bed without cleaning it up. right. now.

sexy freezer pictures forthcoming.

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6 responses

1 02 2010
Jen

Dude did you take a picture of my kitchen? I’m the messiest person ever I swear. Doesn’t help that I’m lazy too. By the way, eating (drinking? I dunno, its thick) the Yoplait berry smoothie right now and its pretty good!

1 02 2010
bessmarvin

thank you! thank you for making me feel like i’m not the only lazy, messy, lousy housekeeper in town. something about all these nearly identical mommyblogs with their happy home maker philosophies makes me feel like the only human in a room full of stepford wives. we need to band together like sloppy uncouth voltron and start our own crusade!

2 02 2010
Lynn

Dude, don’t be hating on the mommybloggers. There are those of us who have bags under our eyes, poopy diapers overflowing from a well-worn Target bag, and haven’t changed our babies onesies in a few days. We’re tired and a little bit creepy but watch out when you see our mom jeans struttin’ your way!

2 02 2010
bessmarvin

i know! i’m terrible! the mommys taught me everything i know. although i’m not really hating on moms (i hope to be one of you someday!), more on the uber-conservative anti-feminist christian agenda that seems to be the norm on the majority of coupon blogs. did you see them all chastise poor mindi cherry (from “mom’s need to know”) for using the phrase “f-me boots” on twitter? it was brutal! i just find it really alienating sometimes. as if they feel like because i’m not currently pursuing my “higher calling” a mother- that i’m not worthy to belong to the club. i’m just trying to present an alternate view. mix it up a little. but seriously, being a mom is hard f-ing work. you guys are rockstars.

2 02 2010
Lynn

I totally hear you, I absolutely agree. And that is why I love your blog. I will never see the phrase “clitberry cuntcake” on most of the mommy blogs. Or anywhere else for that matter.

I didn’t see the mindi cherry thing– but now I want to check it out! It’s kind of like some of the mommy bloggers you speak of act like they don’t have vaginas when clearly they do, since theoretically that is most likely how they became mommys.

Anyhow, sorry for filthying up your comment section with both the c-word and the v-word.

2 02 2010
bessmarvin

thanks! that’s a really awesome compliment. and you can feel free to filthy up my comments any day with all the dirty words you like/can think of. everyone always seems so concerned about being “family friendly”, but when was the last time you saw a 10 year old covertly searching coupon blogs?! it’s so silly.

vaginaless! one of them actually tweeted yesterday “if you’re going to pitch a guest post, you should probably use proper spelling and grammar”. which is true, but that poor woman that sent in the pitch! holier than thou much? all i can think of is that line in legally blonde where elle says something like “love your costume! but when i dress up like a frigid bitch, i usually try not to look so constipated”.

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