um, not so much.

7 01 2010

one of the coolest things about ensconcing myself in the coupon world has been the presence of freebies. and whoever says they don’t love free stuff is a damn dirty liar. but anyway, over the last year i have scored a crapload of free crap in various ways. whether it was products that were free after coupons, products that came with rebates/extrabucks, or samples i received from vocalpoint (or other vocalpoint like websites), or just trolling the freebie websites, i had the opportunity to test drive a lot of products that i wouldn’t have otherwise given a second look had they not been free (or almost free in some cases). there were some absolute winners: kashi golean honey flax is now a breakfast staple, carmex moisture plus in the sexxxy lipstick tube is amazing, and me and clorox disenfecting wipes are now inseparable. however, there were of course some absolute losers. i present to you, the bunkest new products of 2009:

1. covergirl outlast lip stain: uh… hey guys at cover girl, this is a magic marker. not surprisingly, it also makes you look like you’ve colored in your lips with a magic marker. also, when you realize this, it is IMPOSSIBLY HARD TO REMOVE FROM YOUR FACE.

2. neosporin lip health: i was actually really enthusiastic about this product in theory, and then i tried it. instead of being just like neosporin in a lip-friendly tube, it’s some sort of runny white stuff that doesn’t sink in easily, and actually appears to make my lips peel MORE. please try again!

3. always infiniti: infinitely awful. sort of like trying to attach a surfboard to your underpants with scotch tape. unnecessarily huge, horribly uncomfortable, does not stick well to the underpants, and does not seem any better or different than any other bulky and uncomfortable pad (yay tampons!), just more expensive.

4. scope outlast: this isn’t entirely a complaint about the product (because it appears to be pretty much just scope), but the packaging. holy ridiculous batman! it’s like a giant genie bottle- and it’s too tall to fit into any of my cabinets, or the drawer beneath my sink. why does it have to be like that? does it think it’s better than the other mouthwash?

5. trop50. um, gross. and this is coming from a girl who waters down her orange juice. i liked the idea of a light lower calorie orange juice-like beverage, i was ready for it… but OH NO NO, i wasn’t ready for the vile chemical aftertaste that coated my tongue and throat and took a full afternoon to disappear. i don’t care if stevia is an all natural- it tastes like shit.

anyone else have any horrible product disappointments in 2009? do tell!

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11 responses

7 01 2010
Jen

Did I try the Benevia before 2010? Regardless, it is fucking nasty. I don’t hate the Neosporin but it isn’t my favorite either. Kashi honey flax is like extra crunchy Sugar Smacks and it is oh so delicious! I like the Kashi Go Lean wild blueberry best tho.

7 01 2010
bessmarvin

i only wish i had tried the benevia so i could put it on my list (although the prospect of drinking something that tastes like nail polish remover isn’t really that great). i think the neosporin just isn’t strong enough for maine’s sub zero wind chills. blistex lip medix is my #1 choice. although, i am really loving the carmex “for her” or whatever it’s called.

7 01 2010
Cassie

Agreed with Jen on the Neosporin Lip stuff – it’s in my purse for emergencies, but I would never get it again.

I think the Soy Joy bars could have possibly been in 2008, but I’m sure somehow I got suckered into buying them again in 09

The winner for me was the DynaPep energy micro-shots from CVS. They are awful and although I felt no additional energy, except maybe to drink more water, they did make my husband sick for a good 6 hours.

7 01 2010
bessmarvin

omg! soy joy gave me such horrible um… intestinal distress. hate them! NEVER AGAIN. energy shots are also on my permanent list of “never buys”. they give me heart palpitations and the hardcore barfs (sounds like your husband and i might have similar constitutions!).

7 01 2010
Coupons and Cashmere

Two words for you OLAY REGENERIST. The face cloths sting the hell out of your eyes and my husband told me they make my face smell like a “log cabin”. WTF?

7 01 2010
bessmarvin

log cabin! now i don’t feel so bad for not cashing in on the olay rebates. you made me (and the other passengers in my car) laugh out loud!

8 01 2010
Coupons and Cashmere

Glad to be of service 🙂

9 01 2010
Julie

Apparently I’m odd (well, I knew that already, to be honest), but I LOVE Soy Joy bars. Like, crave love them and have googled for a recipe to make my own because they’re so expensive. They’re what I imagine the result would be if you put a fruitcake into one of those compactors that turns an entire car into a little 2’x2′ hunk of junk.

I just got a free Sun Crystals sample and they also get a big thumbs down. Even Stevia blended with sugar tastes like butt.

lol at the giant genie bottle of Scope and log cabin face!

9 01 2010
bessmarvin

oh, they taste good… it’s just that something about that variety of soy destroys my digestive system. i tried them several times before i was willing to swear off of them for life!

10 01 2010
Jennifer

I love the Always Infinity. I’ll either be in menopause or the adhesive will wear out before I use them all. And the funniest quote happened when I was getting a raincheck at CVS for them, she asked me how many I wanted the rain check for. I figured I had ordered like 40 coupons (no joke), so I said 40. She then proceeded to inform me that they sold them in packs, not individually. HAHAHA….like this was the FIRST time I’ve ever bought pads before. I’m 33 dangit!!!!!

10 01 2010
bessmarvin

that is so amazing! well, she’s clearly not working at cvs to fund her way through medical school. i think the pad thing just isn’t for me. hopefully, the people at the local shelter like them as much as you do!

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