IKEA BUS 7- Klippan vs. Predator

31 03 2017

IKEA Bus 2017 Event ImageHow much do I really need to say about this? I think it’s clear that you need to ride the IKEA Bus this year, or Predator will win. Do you want the earth to be overrun with Predators? I’m pretty sure you don’t.

So, starting TOMORROW, 4/1, at NOON, head on over to the Eventbrite page and buy yourself some tickets to this year’s bus.

I threaten every year to pull the plug on IKEA Bus because it’s time consuming and generates no profit. However, I love you guys so much and I can’t bear to leave you hangin’ when I know you all need  to reupholster everything in your home with trippy mushroom fabric. I am also recently cohabiting with a very nice boy who owns a lot of books, so we have some serious storage needs right now (plus, if you ride the bus, you’ll get to meet him). Consider this year is a 50/50 selfish/not-selfish split. Either way, we’re going, it’s happening, and you should get all up in it (because last year actually sold out pretty fast). Your meatballs are waiting.

BUY TICKETS HERE
(starting at noon, on 4/1/17- no foolin)

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IKEA BUS 6- The Undiscovered KLÄNGLILJA

20 03 2016
IKEA BUS 6

Yeah, it’s a Star Trek VI joke.

Ok, so I pay like $32 a year for my domain name and all it’s good for is this. Will I ever write anything else? Maybe. Does it even matter? NO! Because…

IKEA BUS 6 IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

I know I’ve been talking about it casually for weeks, and that I keep promising that I’ll put the ticket site up “tomorrow.” I know that I’m a damn dirty liar. I’m sorry, being a responsible adult is not my strong suit. But, I’ve finally pulled it together this weekend and got that ticket site up. It’s GO TIME:

ikeabus6.eventbrite.com

Nothing is new and different, because the original formula just works so damn well. Even the prices ($35 for early birds, and $40 for everyone else) are still the same. Don’t make me spell it all out here, just get to the ticket site and do your thing. Or, hit that envelope up in the right hand corner and ask me all about it.

Please come. I don’t get out much anymore.

 





Doing things!

24 09 2015

6th BirthdayI’m sorry. I know it’s been a really really long time since I’ve actively updated this business (and I don’t really count my IKEA Bus posts, even though that’s probably why most people haven’t bothered to unsubscribe yet). For a while, I was just taking a breather from writing. I think I ran out of ideas, and out of energy to make new ones. Unpaid blogging, yo, it’s exhausting. For a long time, I didn’t want to write (or do anything) at all. But after I watched all the good shows on Netflix (I’m 3 seasons down on Orange is the New Black), I managed to pull it together for a few scattered creative endeavors.

So today, on what accidentally happens to be the 6th anniversary of this blog (because I’m a dork and I put “blogiversary” on my calendar), I thought it was time to kind of update what what I’ve been up to these days. Sort of a kindergarten style show-and-tell of my last 3 years.

Cat Rolling in MoneyGETTIN PAID.
I originally moved myself over to MaineToday.com (the final death rattle for Broke207) thinking that I could blog for them for money. But I was hitting the peak of my emotional tuckered-ness at that point, and I just could never meet the quota that they wanted me to write. I was so ashamed about falling short that I never billed them for what I did write. Which, is too bad, because I wrote some pretty good stuff for them.

But, this January (amidst the Phoenix vs. Dig meltdown situation), I got surprise recruited to write for the Phoenix (after all their regular staff abandoned ship). I’ve got a monthly column called “The Register” where I sort of write about what I used to write about here. Say what you will about the Phoenix and whether or not you think they’re a-holes, but they let me write what I want and they send me money in the mail every month. It’s nice. And, even though I’ve been writing publicly for years, my dad seems to think that this means I’ve finally “made it.”

Movie MakeoutsMAKING OUT.
I might have also found myself a pretty spectacular boyfriend during my 3 year absence. There are a lot of things about him that are great that I could list, but I don’t want you trying to steal him, so I’ll keep it to myself. What I will say is that we see a pantload of movies together. And after 3 years of hitting the Nickeoldeon at least once a week, we decided that we should write about it (even if nobody else ever reads it). On Movie Makeouts we both write separate reviews of the same movies (he’s smarter and more analytical, and I swear more and make more snarky comments about people’s hair). We also have a plan to watch every single movie ever nominated for a Best Picture Oscar (all 524 of them), an do a series of one-line reviews for movies so bad that they don’t deserve more. It’s a super new work-in-progress, but where I’ll be focusing most of my writing chi for now. So, if you miss me, you can find me there.

I Can't Take You AnywhereSOME OTHER JUNK.
Then there was all this other wonderful/awful stuff:

I wrote, directed, and produced my first play ever for Portfringe this year. It’s about realizing that you hate someone you used to love (plus there’s a puppet).

I told some embarrassing stories at The Corner (which is an incredible Moth-esque monthly story night in Lewiston that you should go to)- One was about kissing a boy named Virgil, and one was about getting divorced and getting fat.

I had a hysterectomy (exactly as unfortunate as you think), got a fancy new job but had to leave one that I really loved, and found a new apartment that I can afford all by myself. I met this guyI got a Nancy Drew tattoo. It’s been a weird 3 years, and I’m still trying to figure out why I’m 38 and not impressed with myself yet.18 year old Allie figured she’d be famous by now (or at least have her driver’s license). I’ll keep trying.





IKEA BUS 5 Anyone?

26 04 2015

hot dog

Yeah, It’s been such a long time since I updated this site (I know, I’m the worst), that I totally forgot to post about the IKEA Bus! Well, it’s happening again, and there are still tickets available.

GET THEM HERE:

(also, all the useful information you could ever want about riding the bus.

ikeabus5.eventbrite.com

Or, click on the fancy IKEA graphic to the right or whatever.

Come with us and eat many of these $.50 hot dogs! Buy a patio pear! Hell, buy 100. They’ll all fit on the truck!

Anyway, I’m pretty lazy right now, so hit me up if you need more info. This could very well be the last IKEA Bus ever, so you’re probably going to want to be on it.





Live Free or IKEA Hard (and some other boring shit about my life).

25 04 2014

koffininstructionWow, it’s super sad that the last time I updated this blog was a year ago when the last IKEA bus was ready to fly… I was writing for mainetoday.com for a while, and then my life just kind of rolled out of my hands like a rogue ball of yarn and I spent the last year doing “other things.” I painted a house, I wrote some short plays, I painted some terrible self portraits, and I made a lot of pies. Oh, and I watched every single episode of House M.D. Two times. In my bed.  It was a weird year.

And, here I am. I want to start writing again. But, I also want to start jogging again, and obviously that’s gone really well [so fat].

I made a new blog header, and found some less lousy social media icons… I don’t know if I like them, but whatever. Point being, I’m considering a comeback. If one can consider going from single digit to double digit page views a comeback. Or if anyone even notices when a marginally successful blogger rises from the grave…

But, enough of my ellipses and the narcissistic pontifications.

What can I do for you?

I may not have been writing, or doing other blog stuff, but I am still rockin’ the IKEA Bus if you’re interested. Shit is going down on May 31st, and you can buy tickets right here. You can even get out of town delivery if you’re so inclined (and are willing to pay a small fee). You should come. There will be snacks.

Also, if you don’t need any particle board furniture, maybe you want new summer clothes? SwapMaine is up to its old tricks again with our spring swap coming right at your face on May 17th. Come fill up yo sack with all the skinny pants that I have to discard because they’re making me feel bad.

 

 





NO FOOLIN. (it’s IKEAbus time!)

1 04 2013

I SHOULD BUY A COUCH

It’s springtime bitches, and you know what that means… IKEA BUS! Yes, we’re (and by we I mean me) doing it again, and no April Foolin, tickets are on sale today. I’m doing a limited amount of $30 early bird tickets, so if you’re definitely in, you might want to get on that soon. (BE AN EARLY BIRD RIGHT NOW)

For those of you who don’t know about the many mystical properties of the IKEA Bus, here is a brief lowdown:

For less than a price of a bus ticket to Boston, you get a ride to a place that the Greyhound won’t take you, donuts & coffee, a bunch of local snacks, and trashy in-flight movies. Oh, and did I mention the liberal BYOB policy?

Did I also mention that we have an awesome moving company who will bring all your giant boxes back to Portland for you and deliver them to your car or house? (Deliveries to towns other than Portland are currently in negotiation.)

p.s. IKEA is a amazing. Jonathan Coulton will tell you all about it.

If you want all the actual factual details about the logistics of the trip, you can find it all on the ticketing site. But really, you don’t need to know those details.  All you need to know is that there’s pretty much nothing better than slightly tipsy furniture shopping with a lot of excellent people. Also, meatballs.